The Pains of a Long Distance Marriage
Hubz applied for a tourist visa yesterday, hoping he'd be able to come to the US before I give birth. His petition is underway and we have been receiving a lot of correspondences from NVC (National Visa Center). We thought that that is proof enough that he will definitely come back to wait for the final leg. Wrong! The consul told him that their policy is to deny tourist visa applications when there is a pending petition. They don't even care what the purpose of his visit was. It's a red flag among them to deny applications when immigrant petitions are pending. Hubz told me that a lot of tourist visas were granted yesterday. Unfortunately, he wasn't one of those lucky ones. The consul even checked the status of his petition and advised him to just wait. He wasn't even asked for any other proof that he'd definitely come back.
My heart just went out to him because I know he feels bad about it. Imagine not being there when your child is born! I tried to put a brave face amidst it all because I didn't want him to worry about me and the baby. After we talked, I just cried. I even fell asleep crying!
How can they be so heartless? It doesn't matter to them that I don't have a family nearby to help me out when I give birth. True, I could always come home but hubz and I decided it wouldn't be a good idea. The main reason why we're struggling amidst the pains of temporary separation is so we can give our children a good future. Argh, all the things you sacrifice for your child!
I was out to dinner with my roommate and another friend (celebrating her birthday) when I received the news. My friends noticed the change in my expression. Immediately this other friend offered to be there when I give birth. She asked my roommate to call her as soon as my contractions start and she'll assist me (with my roommate) at the hospital. I also have a few more friends who expressed their intentions to help - whether it be at the hospital or my first few weeks at home. I consider myself blessed to have friends like them.
These past few weeks, I have also been busy attending childbirth classes. I feel bad because I seem to be one of those without their husbands in attendance. In a way, I resented our being apart, especially at this time. But, when I got the news regarding his tourist visa application being denied, I knew I don't have the right to feel bad. At least I'll be with our baby while he can't even hug or kiss him for a while. What could be more painful than that, right? I have a baby to hold while he'd only have pictures to keep him company. He's even worried that when they finally meet, our baby won't even recognize him.
Still, even through all these, I know we still have a lot more to be thankful for. I just pray that this LD business will soon come to an end because it's taxing enough for me and my husband - and our baby will soon be added to that equation!
17 comments:
Sorry about the bad news Mickee. Must be really tough for both of you. Hopefully you both would re-unite very soon.
Thanks Angelove... we're praying for that time to come too.
Happy Thanksgiving!
hi mickee, nakakasad naman ung news pero try to be brave and just keep on praying. magkakasama rin kayo soon. take care!
Hi Mickee, it's me, Ate June. I wanted to post a longer comment bcause it's been a long time since I last heard from you. And I feel bad that I included you in my list but I never get the time to visit your blog or even write to you.
I am sorry for the bad news. Not to worry, you do know that God's timing is always perfect, right?
Eventually things will be great. I am so glad to hear that you are being brave about the whole thing. Just hang on there a lil more and everything will be okay. Trust the Lord God.
I miss you girl! Happy thanksgiving!
Mickee...I'm so sorry. Things happen for a reason, and I know right now that adage might not make any sense. But in due time, things will fall into place. Just hold on to that faith. I will be more than willing to be with you when you give birth, if you wish :). I know we haven't been friends that long but I feel like you're one of my treasured friends. I know you have a lot of support already, but if you need an extra help, I'll be more than willing. Have a happy thanksgiving aside from this MINOR set back. At the end of the day, there's still a lot to be thankful for. I'll call you this weekend - we might be up at AC again on Saturday. Cheer up!
mickee: the most important thing: you love each other, and he really really wants to be there.
the separation will soon end. you'll be together eventually. and who knows, soon!
the baby is truly a gift from God. he'll be born to wonderful parents.
i'm praying for your safe delivery. i'm so excited to see your little one.
i truly admire you for your strength. you'll make the best mom!
*hugs*
hug to you, dear! my heart was aching while reading your post. i can imagine how hard it is for you both. god bless and it's good that you have friends there to take care of you. take care, dear. have a safe delivery! - april
Olive, sobrang hirap talaga ng ganito. Buti na lang, I have a baby to keep me company. Kung hindi, bumaha na naman ng luha dito sa Northern Cali... :)
Ate June, I miss you too! I get to pass by your blogs frequently though di ako nakaka-comment. Been busy rin kasi lately. I have tons of TO DO items before I give birth. Dami pang trabaho...
Josephine, I truly am touched by your offer. I feel really blessed to have friends like you.
Selina, my courage comes from God. I believe that even when my husband can't be physically present when I give birth, God will surely be there to watch over us. Take care! Do send me an email if you need to vent ok?
April, hard nga talaga, pero I know that God has plans for us. Ingat din buntis! :)
Mickee,
((hugs))
Narinig ko nga dati na ganun talaga policy nila. Sa work ng mga consuls di "raw" pwedeng samahan ng emotions.
Mahirap talaga ang LDR pero alam mo mas makakatulong para sa inyo kung tanggapin muna ang sitwasyon.
Ganyan din ako. Sa buong pagbubuntis ko, wala rin si Labs. Di ko na-experience ang ma-pamper habang buntis. Nanganak din ako wala si Labs. Pero ok naman. Tingin ko nga kaya madali ang panganganak ko kasi "siguro" isip ni Lord, wala na nga hubby ko habang nanganganak ako eh mahihirapan pa ko... kaya binigyan Nya ko ng easy & safe delivery, hee hee! :)
Kaya mo rin yan sis. Nakaya mo na. Makakaya mo pa. Saglit na panahon na lang... magkakasama rin kayo.
Roslyn, I didn't know Allan wasn't with you when you gave birth. Idol kita sister! :)
Actually matigas lang ulo namin kasi when I consulted with an immigration lawyer a couple of years ago, he advised us not to waste our money to apply for a tourist visa kasi siguradong denied daw. Pero eto, nagbakasakali pa rin.... :(
Pero alam mo, tama ka. I had a relatively easy pregnancy. All the while, I'm thinking that God knows hubz isn't here to help out kaya di niya ako pinahirapan sa pagbubuntis ko. Sana nga rin sa delivery eh madali din.
Di bale sis, bawi na lang tayo sa next baby, hehehe!
mickee, am sorry to hear the not so good news. just be strong for your baby. it would really be best sana na nandyan si hubz when you give birth kaya lang hindi nga. at least nga you have friends who'll be there for you when the baby arrives. it somehow compensates for the lack of family na makaksama mo. am sure naman that when ma-grant na yung petition ni hubz, super duper happy family together na kayo. tiis na lang talaga muna. i'm sure am not the only one who'll say this, i'll pray for your safety and just holler if you need any help na kaya namin ibigay, kahit support lang ito. smile girl! :D
Hi Mickee...I'm sorry for the bad news but think of it as God's plan so it isn't bad at all. I'm sure everything happens for a reason. You might not know yet the reason behind it but in time, the Lord will reveal it. Will pray that everything works well for your delivery and the petition of clifford. Have faith...you will be reunited soon!
im praying for u..at times like this, prayer is the only answer! we just cant comprehend yet why this happened but in time, we will know..i know you're very brave! and you can do this..im here for you!
basta basta, malapit na!!hugs to you sis!!
Liza and Dang, thank you for the prayers. Sa ngayon talaga, the only thing that strengthens me and keeps me going (aside from my baby) is God. I believe that in His time, we'll be together.
Jody, iniisip ko na lang, nakatiis na rin naman kami ng ialng taon, what's a few more di ba?
Hi mickee! here are some cyberhugs for you sis!
nalungkot ako para sa yo. please be strong im sure that God will really help you. Tatagan mo lang ang loob mo ha. Malapit na dumating ang baby Im sure one day magkakasama din kayo.
Hi sis, been trying to catch you in YM, but to no avail. Lagi kang off-line, anyways, 1st of all merry merry christmas! Guess what titan got promoted (a promotion he'd wanted sooo bad and been waiting for sooo long) but too bad they'll have to re-assign him to the visayas region again =((( I think i'll be needing most of your advices again... Muah!
imusyu, em
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