This Too, Shall Pass
This has been my mantra when Kail was born - amidst sleepless nights, crying spells, adjustments on becoming a new mom, bouts with post partum depression. Sure enough, when Kail turned three months, life became so much better. He could sleep through the night, waking up only for feedings, the crying diminished (or is it because I can somehow guess why he's fussing?). I'd talk to him and he would coo back, with a matching toothless grin or a shriek. Though I love this time, I realize that my baby is growing up fast!
Just when the fun begins, I needed to go back to work. I spent the night before my first day back just gazing at him, hugging and kissing him. I know I'd miss him terribly, after spending those wonderful but exhausting 3 1/2 months with him. April 17 came and I cried when the alarm clock went off. I was sobbing when I left home. I would find myself daydreaming at work, and a tear would fall from time to time. When it was time for me to go home, my car almost flew. Seeing my son again was pure bliss. He was crying when I came home. As soon as I held him in my arms, he stopped and beamed at me. When I fed him, he wouldn't let go of my breast even when I knew he wasn't getting any more milk there. He wanted to be held all the time. I guess he must've missed me too!
Our time together may have been cut short by my need to report back to work. The quantity of time spent may become less but I intend to make up with quality. My heart would always ache when I leave and I would always wish I could be a stay at home mom. For now, I have to take it one day at a time and know that my time at work will pass. Knowing that my son also looks forward to my coming home is a sweet thought that keeps me going.
