This Too, Shall Pass
This has been my mantra when Kail was born - amidst sleepless nights, crying spells, adjustments on becoming a new mom, bouts with post partum depression. Sure enough, when Kail turned three months, life became so much better. He could sleep through the night, waking up only for feedings, the crying diminished (or is it because I can somehow guess why he's fussing?). I'd talk to him and he would coo back, with a matching toothless grin or a shriek. Though I love this time, I realize that my baby is growing up fast!
Just when the fun begins, I needed to go back to work. I spent the night before my first day back just gazing at him, hugging and kissing him. I know I'd miss him terribly, after spending those wonderful but exhausting 3 1/2 months with him. April 17 came and I cried when the alarm clock went off. I was sobbing when I left home. I would find myself daydreaming at work, and a tear would fall from time to time. When it was time for me to go home, my car almost flew. Seeing my son again was pure bliss. He was crying when I came home. As soon as I held him in my arms, he stopped and beamed at me. When I fed him, he wouldn't let go of my breast even when I knew he wasn't getting any more milk there. He wanted to be held all the time. I guess he must've missed me too!
Our time together may have been cut short by my need to report back to work. The quantity of time spent may become less but I intend to make up with quality. My heart would always ache when I leave and I would always wish I could be a stay at home mom. For now, I have to take it one day at a time and know that my time at work will pass. Knowing that my son also looks forward to my coming home is a sweet thought that keeps me going.
5 comments:
hi mickee, i can imagine what you're going through. right after ninna was born, i couldn't stand being away from her for an hour, let alone 8+ hours if i chose to work. i'm lucky i had that choice to be a sahm but if i didn't, i know i would feel exactly as you do - and that's because we love our children very very much. hang in there! *hugs*
*Hugs* - it's hard to go back to work when all you want is to spend every moment with your child. We've all been through that. I went through it the first time when Jake was 3mos, I went through it again the last time I went back to work, and now that I'm back to work again in a month, I'm already dreading it. But it will get better - I promise. And the only consolation is coming home to a happy, healthy baby who is so looking forward to seeing you. Hang in there - :)
I can so relate to you sistah =) nakakalungkot di ba pero such is life, im sure little kail will understand that all your hardwork and time spent without him are all dedicated to him...i miss you sis!
em
I'm with you on this mickee. It was really hard for me at first, I kept telling my self it will get better but it get worst everyday. I dont even have picture of her at my desk before, because looking at her makes me cry. Now I get used to it, everyday I look forward to going home and seeing her. One of my co-worker commented 'atleast there's a beautiful baby waiting for you at home, I dont.'
Yes mickee this too shall pass, just hang in there.
Hi mickee, Its normal kail miss you while you working but he will get used i mean both of you. Pero maganda talaga na hindi masyadong close ang bonding ninyo kasi ikaw din ang mahihirapan. ako nga Full time mother If i want to go shopping by myself twins cried alot they dont allowed me. dont worry lilipas din yan. nag change naman ang behavior nang baby mo.
Post a Comment