Our Life in Words and Photos

Look Who's Looking

Here is Kail at four months. He had his well baby check-up on the 12th of May and boy has he grown! He is now 16.1 1/2 lbs., 26 3/4 inches in length. I can start him on solids by next week. He still has skin eczema (and I'm getting worried since his baptism is this coming Saturday). He's still on mittens because he tends to scratch his face. He's a very smart kid (coming from a stage mom) because he knows how to remove his mittens when he really wants to suck his fingers. He can hold his bottle with very little help, and what's funny is that he knows that a bottle equates to feeding. He gets excited whenever he sees it!

I have altogether stopped nursing him because my milk has dried up. I’m under a lot of stress lately – from work and at home. Taking care of an infant is not an easy task, and working 12 hour days is just as exhausting, not to mention being away from Kail for 14 hours when I go to work. I have done the best I could. I just feel so disappointed at myself for not producing enough milk to exclusively breastfeed him. But then again, stress could be a major factor there.

For the first two months of Kail’s life, he was very colicky. We’d be up all night. I would nurse him as much as he wants to, then give him formula. We would sit on a rocking chair as I lull him to sleep, while I’d also be pumping at the same time! I think the sound of the breastpump would soothe him to sleep, and when he does, I’d start crying. I have never felt so alone!

Now that I’ve stopped breastfeeding, I am now feeling nostalgic and sad at the same time. I don’t like to think I’m getting depressed, but it sure looks like it. Before I gave birth, I have envisioned myself exclusively breastfeeding for at least a year. I attended classes, read everything I can, bought myself a reliable but expensive breastpump and accessories. But nature had other plans. What I failed to do, though, is immerse myself in a breastfeeding support group like La Leche League. I found out that they have one in Napa with regular meetings every 2nd Tuesday of the month. Oh well, at least I know now. Until the next baby (hehehe!).

Here's hoping that everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day.

Before I go, I'd like to share this to all of you (especially to the moms out there). I found this message on my Inbox. Here goes...

Mother's Day is a thank you to every woman who has ever hugged a baby, kissed a boo-boo, taught a lesson, listened closely, cared deeply....

.... and passed on her love and wisdom to someone in the world who needed her....