Look Who's Looking

Here is Kail at four months. He had his well baby check-up on the 12th of May and boy has he grown! He is now 16.1 1/2 lbs., 26 3/4 inches in length. I can start him on solids by next week. He still has skin eczema (and I'm getting worried since his baptism is this coming Saturday). He's still on mittens because he tends to scratch his face. He's a very smart kid (coming from a stage mom) because he knows how to remove his mittens when he really wants to suck his fingers. He can hold his bottle with very little help, and what's funny is that he knows that a bottle equates to feeding. He gets excited whenever he sees it!

I have altogether stopped nursing him because my milk has dried up. I’m under a lot of stress lately – from work and at home. Taking care of an infant is not an easy task, and working 12 hour days is just as exhausting, not to mention being away from Kail for 14 hours when I go to work. I have done the best I could. I just feel so disappointed at myself for not producing enough milk to exclusively breastfeed him. But then again, stress could be a major factor there.

For the first two months of Kail’s life, he was very colicky. We’d be up all night. I would nurse him as much as he wants to, then give him formula. We would sit on a rocking chair as I lull him to sleep, while I’d also be pumping at the same time! I think the sound of the breastpump would soothe him to sleep, and when he does, I’d start crying. I have never felt so alone!

Now that I’ve stopped breastfeeding, I am now feeling nostalgic and sad at the same time. I don’t like to think I’m getting depressed, but it sure looks like it. Before I gave birth, I have envisioned myself exclusively breastfeeding for at least a year. I attended classes, read everything I can, bought myself a reliable but expensive breastpump and accessories. But nature had other plans. What I failed to do, though, is immerse myself in a breastfeeding support group like La Leche League. I found out that they have one in Napa with regular meetings every 2nd Tuesday of the month. Oh well, at least I know now. Until the next baby (hehehe!).

Here's hoping that everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day.

Before I go, I'd like to share this to all of you (especially to the moms out there). I found this message on my Inbox. Here goes...

Mother's Day is a thank you to every woman who has ever hugged a baby, kissed a boo-boo, taught a lesson, listened closely, cared deeply....

.... and passed on her love and wisdom to someone in the world who needed her....

The Long Overdue Post



The photo/s above is the same one we used for Kail’s baptism invitation. It’s prodly Philippine made by fellow-n@wie, Melisse. I’ve been getting lots of kudos on this!

I have been back to work for three weeks now and I have yet to get used to the idea of leaving my son very early in the morning on days that I don’t telecommute, and won’t get to see him again until nighttime. Crazy is an understatement, when used to describe how my days are like. As A puts it, I’m not just a mom, but a career woman, a breadwinner, a milk machine (at least I’d like to think so), a housekeeper. How I juggle with these roles is beyond me. I just know that I take it one day at a time, and hope that the next day will be better. I’m dead tired by the time I hit the sack but thankful nonetheless, for God’s greatest gift – my little Kail! He has given me a new purpose in life.

What else have I been up to these days? Well, preparing for Kail’s baptism is no easy feat. I have dilly-dallied on reserving the venue so I ended up at a buffet place in Vallejo (the dancing plan is out). I am giving/sending out the invitations a couple of weeks before the said event, I have yet to order a cake, and as I write, I still have gazillions of things on my mind. I am also in the process of closing a deal, which I’ll be able to hopefully blog about one of these days.

As far as Kail is concerned, he just turned 4 months yesterday. As usual, we have invited his godparents/neighbors to celebrate. He can now roll on his stomach, sleep on his side, coos and smiles a lot (I am beginning to think he is going to be a very talkative kid), shrieks when extremely happy (especially when he sees mommy, hehehe!), sucks on his fingers, can soothe himself to sleep, loves tummy time, has strong kicks. I’m glad that even when he has skin eczema on his face and body, he’s still a happy camper. He would sometimes get irritated if you keep his hands from scratching (after all, eczema can be very itchy), but he always has a ready smile for everyone. As of Apr. 21, he weighs 15.3 lbs. His next well baby visit will be on Friday next week which, he will be getting 5 vaccines (I have to brace myself for this).

Well, that’s it for now. I don’t update often but I try to bloghop whenever I can, and leave a few tidbits on my favorite blogs here and there. If I don’t get the chance to blog again soon, I’d like to greet all the moms out there a Happy Mother’s Day on May 14. I still have a list of greeting cards to send to all the important moms in my life – my mom, my grandma, my aunt, and my MIL. The cards might get to them late but I still want them to know I appreciate them more after I became a mom myself. Whenever I feel the urge to complain, I try to remind myself that my grandma raised 2 kids all on her own and at that time, there were no disposable diapers yet, so I ought to count myself lucky. Also, my mom has taken on the responsibility of being a mom and dad to us when my dad left for the US. That, in itself, is not an easy feat (especially raising a stubborn girl like me, hehehe!). I love you all very much!

This Too, Shall Pass

This has been my mantra when Kail was born - amidst sleepless nights, crying spells, adjustments on becoming a new mom, bouts with post partum depression. Sure enough, when Kail turned three months, life became so much better. He could sleep through the night, waking up only for feedings, the crying diminished (or is it because I can somehow guess why he's fussing?). I'd talk to him and he would coo back, with a matching toothless grin or a shriek. Though I love this time, I realize that my baby is growing up fast!

Just when the fun begins, I needed to go back to work. I spent the night before my first day back just gazing at him, hugging and kissing him. I know I'd miss him terribly, after spending those wonderful but exhausting 3 1/2 months with him. April 17 came and I cried when the alarm clock went off. I was sobbing when I left home. I would find myself daydreaming at work, and a tear would fall from time to time. When it was time for me to go home, my car almost flew. Seeing my son again was pure bliss. He was crying when I came home. As soon as I held him in my arms, he stopped and beamed at me. When I fed him, he wouldn't let go of my breast even when I knew he wasn't getting any more milk there. He wanted to be held all the time. I guess he must've missed me too!

Our time together may have been cut short by my need to report back to work. The quantity of time spent may become less but I intend to make up with quality. My heart would always ache when I leave and I would always wish I could be a stay at home mom. For now, I have to take it one day at a time and know that my time at work will pass. Knowing that my son also looks forward to my coming home is a sweet thought that keeps me going.

Mommy: Q & A

Sorry Day, for not responding on your tag right away.

How did you feel during those first few days after the birth?
==> I had a C-section so it was really hard for me to move around. But, I couldn't keep lying down because I had a baby to take care of. Also, I find myself crying for no apparent reason. Sometimes, when my baby cries, I am also in tears.

How were you emotionally?
==> Like I said, I just cry for no apparent reason. I am emotional whenever I see (on TV) children being abused - those scouring for food to eat in the garbage. Being a mom truly makes you susceptible to all the plights of children in the world!

Is there anything you wish people had told you about the postpartum period?
==> I wish they told me that there will be times when my patience will be tested, especially when the baby cries all night.

How long do you plan to breastfeed?
==> Up to 3 months, hopefully. He's mixed fed right now. I had to supplement with formula because my breastmilk isn't sufficient.

Do you have any advice for getting through those first weeks of breastfeeding?
==> I was fortunate because Kail latched on perfectly since Day 1. My only problem was my milk supply. I'd advise everyone to persevere and keep at it no matter how frustrating it can be. The rewards are enormous, and it's for the baby's welfare. Drink lots of fluids, especially water.

Was there any stress between you and your husband over the baby?
==> On times when I'm sleep deprived and cradling a crying baby in my arms, I really detest him not being here. There were also nights when I had to hang up on him due to frustration. I know it's not his fault but I just can't help it.

Let's talk about your body, Did things get totally rearranged?
==> Not really - I just have some more weight to lose.

Care to share how much you weighed before and how much now?
==> I was 96 lbs pre-pregnancy, 133 lbs on the day prior to giving birth, and 110 lbs now.

What advice-or comfort-can you offer other new moms about their weight ?
==> It took us 9 months to beef up so don't expect to lose all those weight overnight.

How important is it for you to have a work identity?
==> More than work identity, I need to keep my job so my baby and I would survive. I am the breadwinner (at least until my husband comes here) so I have no choice but to keep working. Much as I'd like to be a SAHM someday, I also want to work (even part time) to earn money. Aside from my son, my family in the Philippines (mom, brother, grandma) are also my dependents.

Was your baby a lot of fun right from the start?
==> Oh no - he cried a lot!

What's your baby like now?
==> He now smiles a lot, coos, and so much fun!

It would be nice to hear from other mom's too, so if your not busy with your little one, care to share - Jody, April, Litcoo, Alpha, Olive, Leirs, Meeya, Marie, Josephine.

Things I learned from my son

I still couldn't believe this big boy (now 12.13 lbs at 2 months) came from me!!!! I carried him in my womb for 9 long months!

In as much as babies learn from their parents, my son has taught me a lot of things as well.

1. He's the BOSS. He dictates when I can sleep, for how long, and when I need to wake up. He also dictates whether or not he will allow me to do my chores at home.

2. Babies are not CUTE all the time. When he starts crying, I want to take him back into my tummy!

3. SLEEP is a foreign word. He sleeps all the time, when I need to be awake, and stays awake when I need to sleep.

4. SLEEP like a baby meant waking up every 5 minutes. I couldn't believe how light my son sleeps. A little movement beside him (when we're co-sleeping) will immediately send his arms and legs flailing.

5. It's easier to take care of babies inside the tummy than out. Inside, I just worry when I don't feel him move. Outside, I worry when he can't keep still (especially if he cries all the time).

6. Babies CRY, EAT, SLEEP, POOP, PEE most of the time... and SMILE sometimes.

7. A SMILE would melt your heart away - even when you're sleep-deprived and over-fatigued. You'll even forget the night-long crying feat.

8. A BATH for me now meant 5 minutes in the shower - tops, and probably 2 minutes dressing up!

9. SHOPPING meant meandering in the baby section of the store - drooling over baby stuff to buy.

10. ME time is a thing of the past. It's all about HIM now.

No matter how hard it is taking care of this little creature, I wouldn't trade it in for anything in this world. I love being a mom. It truly is my most rewarding career ever.

The "New Mommy" Haircut

I just had to post this... bagay ba?



Kail had rashes on his face, which might've been caused by my curly locks so I decided to trade in my long hair to this. It felt good actually... been wanting to try a new "do" for sometime now. After all, being a mom does take the "me" time away. This haircut is easier to maintain, not to mention less use of shampoo and conditioner... :)

I've been tagged... atbp

First things first. Finally, Kail's photos have been posted at Shutterfly. That has long been overdue and I thank my husband for taking the initiative. Proud dad talaga! :)

This mom has been terribly busy these days - being the only person who takes care of my little one. I must admit, motherhood is tough, but none is as rewarding. There are times though, especially when Kail doesn't cease crying, that I've wondered about taking him back into my tummy... :) Of course, that's just wishful thinking.

Next, to you who has been posting messages on my tagboard (you know who you are), I see it and I get the message. However, I believe that there is a proper time and place for everything. The web is not a place to hang dirty laundry for everyone to see. Right now, I am not ready to get in touch with you. I pray that in time, I'd find it in my heart to accept things as they are.

Lastly, I've been tagged by Liza and here's my take:

4 Jobs I've had in my life --> Production Engineer; Programmer/Analyst; Sr QA Analyst; QA Engineer

4 movies i could watch over and over --> Sweet Home Alabama; The Notebook; A Walk to Remember; Somewhere in Time (hopeless romantic kasi ako)

4 places i've lived --> Daly City; Novato; San Rafael; American Canyon

4 tv shows i love to watch --> Smallville; Seventh Heaven; Charmed; Gilmore Girls

4 places i've been on vacation--> in the Philippines: Palawan, Bohol, Cebu, Boracay; in the US --> Martha's Vineyard, Niagara Falls, New York, Las Vegas

4 websites i visit daily --> yahoo mail; google mail; blogsite; yahoo groups

4 of my favorite foods --> kare-kare; sinigang; spaghetti; pansit

4 places i'd rather be right now --> in the Philippines with my loved ones; in Torino, Italy for the olympics; touring Europe; Down Under

4 bloggers i'm tagging --> Ate June; Jody; Selina; Bethski

Welcome Caerwyn Mikhail!



On January 4, 2006 at 2:39am, I gave birth to a healthy and beautiful baby boy via a C-section. He weighed 8.10 lbs and is 22 inches long.

I'll post another entry soon - and maybe a link with more photos. This mom's just busy dotting on her newborn.

Thank you for all the prayers and well wishes!

The Waiting Game

I had my weekly doctor's appointment yesterday and I was told that I am already 3cm dilated and 70% effaced. My cervix is favorable enough but I haven't gone into labor just yet. If only I was past 38 weeks, I would've been induced as I have a big baby and my doctor doesn't want to prolong my delivery. Though 37 weeks is considered full term, some babies act as if they're preemies so to make sure, she wanted to wait a week more. If I don't go into labor by Tuesday (my next appointment), I will be induced.

When I got home yesterday, I emailed my boss that this week will be my last working week until I go back from my maternity leave in April. I have also turned over the remaining work I have. I filed my maternity leave via our leave coordinator. I started working on my will. I have finalized my hospital pre-registration (I am changing insurance companies come January 1). I have also mailed the cord blood documents, which I have faxed to Viacord a couple of weeks back.

Last night, I was in my baby's room trying to arrange stuff. I think my nesting instinct is kicking in. It won't be long now...

Please pray for a smooth and safe delivery for me, and a healthy baby for us.

The Reason for the Season

A friend forwarded this email that I thought was worth posting. Amidst the hustle and bustle of the holidays, may we never forget that Jesus is still the reason for the season.

Merry Christmas everyone!

*****************

Dear loved ones,

As you well know, we are getting closer to my birthday. Every year there is a celebration in my honor and I think that this year the celebration will be repeated. During this time there are many people shopping for gifts, there are many radio announcements, TV commercials, and in every part of the world everyone is talking that my birthday is getting closer and closer.

It is really very nice to know, that at least once a year, some people think of me. As you know, the celebration of my birthday began many years ago. At first people seemed to understand and be thankful of all that I did for them, but in these times, no one seems to know the reason for the celebration. Family and friends get together and have a lot of fun, but they don't know the meaning of the celebration.

I remember that last year there was a great feast in my honor. The dinner table was full of delicious foods, pastries, fruits, assorted nuts and chocolates. The decorations were exquisite and there were many,many beautifully wrapped gifts. But, do you want to know something? I wasn't invited. I was the guest of honor and they didn't remember to send me an invitation. The party was for me, but when that great day came, I was left outside, they closed the door in my face .... and I wanted to be with them and share their table.

In truth, that didn't surprise me because in the last few years all close their doors to me. Since I wasn't invited, I decided to enter the party without making any noise. I went in and stood in a corner. They were all drinking; there were some who were drunk and telling jokes and laughing at everything. They were having a grand time. To top it all, this big fat man all dressed in red wearing a long white beard entered the room yelling Ho-Ho-Ho! He seemed drunk. He sat on the sofa and all the children ran to him, saying: "Santa Claus, Santa Claus" .. as if the party were in his honor!

At 12 midnight all the people began to hug each other; I extended my arms waiting for someone to hug me and ... do you know ... no one hugged me. Suddenly they all began to share gifts. They opened them one by one with great expectation. When all had been opened, I looked to see if, maybe, there was one for me.

What would you feel if on your birthday everybody shared gifts and you did not get one? I then understood that I was unwanted at that party and quietly left.

Every year it gets worse. People only remember to eat and drink, the gifts, the parties and nobody remembers me. I would like this Christmas that you allow me to enter into your life. I would like that you recognize the fact that almost two thousand years ago I came to this world to give my life for you, on the cross, to save you.
Today, I only want that you believe this with all your heart.

I want to share something with you. As many didn't invite me to their party, I will have my own celebration, a grandiose party that no one has ever imagined, a spectacular party. I'm still making the final arrangements.
Today I am sending out many invitations and there is an invitation for you. I want to know if you wish to attend and I will make a reservation for you and write your name with golden letters in my great guest book. Only those on the guest list will be invited to the party. Those who don't answer the invite, will be left outside.

Be prepared because when all is ready you will be part of my great party.

See you soon.
I Love you!
Jesus

To Bank or Not To Bank

Hubz and I have made an important decision to bank our baby's cord blood through Viacord right after he's born. I have done some research on this topic and though stem cell technology is yet at its infancy, the advent of medical research may speed up its growth in the future. Our main concern at first was the cost, especially for the first year. But we figured this will serve as an insurance (which we hope we'll never use).

Why did we finally decide to bank his cord blood? There have been quite a few transplants using a baby's cord blood at present. Though the diseases being treated are those that are few and far between, who knows what the future might bring. Both our families have histories of cancer. Hubz' dad died of liver cancer, and my grandpa succumbed to prostate cancer. My dad has recently been diagnosed with colon cancer (but thank God it was detected early on). Stroke and heart diseases, not to mention diabetes is also rampant in our families, so does high cholasterol. True, we can avoid these diseases by a lifestyle change. However, some diseases are just genetic by nature. Take me, for instance. Who would've thought I used to have high cholasterol when I was even considered underweight pre-pregnancy?! Blame it on bad genes! My dad has uncontrollable cholasterol level even when he barely eats at all!

I asked my roommate when I was weighing this option and she gave a valid point. Our lives are not within our hands - it is with God's. Miracles do happen everyday (and our baby is a testimony to that). But maybe God is also giving us an option when he opened the doors for stem cell research.

Basically, the decision lies in every family. But as a parent, what wouldn't you give for your child, right?

Baby Shower Part II, False Labor, atbp

My friends from work gave me a "surprise" baby shower on Saturday but the alarm company spoiled it. My roommate gave them the key to the house but they triggered the alarm upon entering. Who did the alarm company call of all people? Well, me... then I told my roommate the alarm went off. She talked to the operator and told her it's ok and she knows about it. That gave it away! So, by the time we came home and my friends had the chance to shout "surprise", I was already laughing.

Thanks L for organizing it though, and to my friends who came and/or gave gifts - thanks a bunch!

Today, I had menstrual-like pain which prompted me to call the hospital. I was told to take it easy, eat something, drink plenty of fluids, take a shower, and call back in an hour if it doesn't go away. After 3 hours, I called back and was asked to come in. I was strapped on the bed and the contractions were monitored. I was surprised to find out I had 6 in an hour. And there I thought I was just feeling the baby move! I was injected with medications to stop the contractions because it's too early for me to deliver (35 weeks). The timing's erratic anyway. That stopped the contractions but not the menstrual-like pain. I was then told to take it easy and to lessen physical activities. Oh, and I'm 1cm dilated by the way!

What's funny is that they also asked me to stop having S_X, which isn't too hard to do since hubz isn't here anyway!

For a couple of days now, I have been waking up very early in the morning just to appease my hungry tummy. Frequent trips to the bathroom isn't helping me sleep either. I have been going every hour now. I guess the baby's truly preparing me for sleepless nights to come.

Baby Shower

Some of my very close friends gave me a baby shower on Saturday, Dec. 3. I have been through so many baby showers in the past where I always give gifts so it was unusual for me to accept them for a change.



To my dear friends, thank you for everything - from the fun, the games, the gifts. I truly had a wonderful time.

The Pains of a Long Distance Marriage

Hubz applied for a tourist visa yesterday, hoping he'd be able to come to the US before I give birth. His petition is underway and we have been receiving a lot of correspondences from NVC (National Visa Center). We thought that that is proof enough that he will definitely come back to wait for the final leg. Wrong! The consul told him that their policy is to deny tourist visa applications when there is a pending petition. They don't even care what the purpose of his visit was. It's a red flag among them to deny applications when immigrant petitions are pending. Hubz told me that a lot of tourist visas were granted yesterday. Unfortunately, he wasn't one of those lucky ones. The consul even checked the status of his petition and advised him to just wait. He wasn't even asked for any other proof that he'd definitely come back.

My heart just went out to him because I know he feels bad about it. Imagine not being there when your child is born! I tried to put a brave face amidst it all because I didn't want him to worry about me and the baby. After we talked, I just cried. I even fell asleep crying!

How can they be so heartless? It doesn't matter to them that I don't have a family nearby to help me out when I give birth. True, I could always come home but hubz and I decided it wouldn't be a good idea. The main reason why we're struggling amidst the pains of temporary separation is so we can give our children a good future. Argh, all the things you sacrifice for your child!

I was out to dinner with my roommate and another friend (celebrating her birthday) when I received the news. My friends noticed the change in my expression. Immediately this other friend offered to be there when I give birth. She asked my roommate to call her as soon as my contractions start and she'll assist me (with my roommate) at the hospital. I also have a few more friends who expressed their intentions to help - whether it be at the hospital or my first few weeks at home. I consider myself blessed to have friends like them.

These past few weeks, I have also been busy attending childbirth classes. I feel bad because I seem to be one of those without their husbands in attendance. In a way, I resented our being apart, especially at this time. But, when I got the news regarding his tourist visa application being denied, I knew I don't have the right to feel bad. At least I'll be with our baby while he can't even hug or kiss him for a while. What could be more painful than that, right? I have a baby to hold while he'd only have pictures to keep him company. He's even worried that when they finally meet, our baby won't even recognize him.

Still, even through all these, I know we still have a lot more to be thankful for. I just pray that this LD business will soon come to an end because it's taxing enough for me and my husband - and our baby will soon be added to that equation!

What I'm Thankful For...

Thanksgiving is upon us again. This gives me the opportunity to reflect on the things and events in my life I'm really grateful for. This year is especially meaningful because God gave us the gift of life. Amidst our infertility issues, the challenges of having a long-distance marriage, and the once-a-year rendezvous, we were given this rare opportunity to journey through parenthood. At Thanksgiving, our precious angel is 33 weeks old. A few more weeks and we'd get a glimpse of the li'l creature I've been nurturing in my womb.

There is a saying that we should always count our blessings. Let me take this chance to list down all the wonderful things and events that happened this year. All those that we're truly grateful for...

• After a couple of years of trying, and after rounds of medications, God finally heard our prayers and gave us our little angel - Caerwyn Mikhail.
• A relatively easy and uncomplicated pregnancy
• A loving and supporting husband. Though he isn't physically present throughout the pregnancy, I can feel his concern and deep love for me and our baby.
• An over-eager and supportive family who longs for this baby as much as we have.
• An understanding boss who gave me lighter loads and allowed me to take off from time to time due to doctor's appointments, childbirth classes, and the like.
• Good health for the whole family. Earlier this year, I wrote about my dad having been diagnosed with Colon Cancer. With the help of early diagnosis, prevention and prayers, he was able to bounce back.
• A roof above our heads, and food for our stomachs.
• Great friends
• Wonderful teammates
• My roommate, best friend, and investment partner
• A truly productive year in terms of projects and career advancement
• Growing investments
• Answered prayers
• The opportunity to be with my husband this year
• The month-long chance to be with my family and my aunt whom I haven't seen for years
• An uneventful October business release
• Two great performance reviews
• Tenants that have been with us for a year now (hopefully renewing again)
• All 32 years of my life on earth
• Safety for me and my family
  

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

The Name Game

Picking a name isn't a simple feat. Hubz and I have been through a number of baby names, debated over them, researched their meanings, searched for possible nicknames to go with it. It took us months before we finally came up with something we think would be perfect for our little angel - CAERWYN MIKHAIL (pronounced as Care-win Mi-kale). We'd call him Kail (pronounced as Kale) for short.

Like any other dads, hubz wanted our baby to carry his first name. I had to say no because his name is so well known to kids as a Big Red Dog. I didn't want our little boy to be teased (worse, bullied) in school because of that name. So we searched for a meaningful name that will carry both our initials. Caerwyn is gaelic which meant "blessed fort". Mikhail is the russian counterpart of Michael which meant "who is like God".

If we could only get our families to pronounce the name well, I think we'd all be happy campers... :) In the meantime, we have yet to search for a girl's name - just in case. Any suggestions?

The Last Stretch

I'm on my last trimester and a few more weeks, I'll be able to see, hold, and hug our baby - I can hardly wait!

I have had a relatively easy pregnancy (thank God!). In fact, I've had much more trouble getting pregnant (due to infertility issues) than staying pregnant! Though I have had some barfing episodes in the past, those were tolerable enough and it happens usually at night after dinner. Besides, they were few and far between that I don't really consider it a bad case of morning sickness. I've seen worse and I can only be thankful mine was very mild.

I had my glucose screening test and though I failed the 1-hour test, I aced the 3-hour one. All 4 blood tests for the 3-hour screening came back normal so the doctor was really surprised I failed the 1-hour test at all. I blame it on a bad fast. I was supposed to fast for 12 hours before going in for the test. By 10pm the previous night, I was still feasting on egg pie, and then I went in for my test at 8am. They drew my blood at exactly 9am (an hour after they gave me a very sweet juice to drink). God is really good because I've been praying so hard to pass my second test, which thankfully, I did. I was more worried of the risks to the baby associated with gestational diabetes than I am with dieting. And then, there are holidays coming up which would definitely make it difficult for me to control eating... :)

Now my only complaint is numbness on my wrist and fingers. My doctor calls it carpal tunnel. A wrist splint helps but it doesn't make the pain go away. She said if I really want to get rid of it, I need to see a specialist who will inject steroids. The sound of it just freaked me out so I told her I'd rather not - for my baby's sake.

The Nursery


Our baby's crib (together with a matching drawer) were delivered on Sunday. Of course, mommy was so excited (and exhausted too). Together with my roommate, we have re-organized our then computer room and turned it into a nursery. Since I still have three more months of gestation to go, there will probably be changes here and there but at least you get the idea.

The little dollhouse at the corner is actually mine. As a kid, I never had beautiful toys like these so when a neighbor sold this slightly used dollhouse because he was moving the entire family to Thailand, I just had to grab it. I've always wanted one for myself so this is my way of satisfying my inner child.

Baby Things Shopping Spree

I went to a knitting specialty store in Downtown Napa on Sunday to buy the required needle size for my knitting class on Oct. 15. For some reason, I couldn't find that size in either Michael's or Joann's so I had to go to a specialty store. Unfortunately, they're closed on Sundays and Mondays. But, guess what's open? Cribs 'N Bibs - it's a baby stuff specialty store. They carry items you would never find in Toys 'R Us or Babies 'R Us.

I gawked at this beautiful crib and matching drawers/changing station made of pure wood - tea stain color. It's convertible to a toddler bed too. What's more, they're on sale for 15% off. The manager told me that those were their last pair. If I don't buy those soon and they get sold, they'd have to special order them for me - which will be at a regular price. I tried to veer away from them but I keep going back so I figured, I'd buy a crib sooner or later anyway so why not make it sooner? In short, I bought the set which will be delivered and assembled on Sunday. So now we're on the race to organize the nursery (which is currently the computer room).

Next, I was looking at the colors I want for strollers when I saw this versatile playpen. It has a bassinet with cover that you can take off (when you want to bring the baby to a picnic). Then there's a changing station on the side with slots for wet wipes and diapers. There's a 10% discount off of that. To make the story short, I ended up buying that piece too. The playpen will stay in the family room so that when I'm downstairs scrapping or watching TV, the baby can stay in the bassinet. My worry was that if I lay him down the couch, he'd fall down when he's big enough to roll over. The playpen would be perfect too because as he gets older, he could stay there and play with his toys.

I emailed hubz about these purchases and he replied back commenting on how lucky this baby is. I must agree. He's got the top of the line gadgets and baby stuff right at his fingertips (of course, that would still depend on whether we'll give in to buying those for him). While I grew up with good old fashioned duyan made of abaca which is prone to tilting, he'd have a beautiful crib fit for a king (at least I thought so). I was even teasing hubz that this crib is the same price as my bed!

My roommate told me not to buy any more stuff because they're planning on giving me a baby shower anyway. I've been to dozens of baby showers in the past and a crib, drawers with changing station, playpen are not the sort of gifts you give to a baby shower, so maybe, they were wise purchases after all, or is it just the shopaholic in me justifying my spending?

Sigh, all the things you'd do for your child.

The Birthday Girl

I celebrated my 32nd birthday on Sept. 10 with very few close neighbors. I opted for a small gathering because I'm already having a hard time cleaning up. I get tired easily and my lower back is causing me a great deal of pain. Thank God for good neighbors because they helped us clean up afterwards.

This year is extra special because God gave me the perfect gift, which I am now carrying inside my tummy. Hubz has teased me that this will be my last birthday alone. Next year, I have a baby tagging along. As you can see, I have gained a bit of weight. I am now up to 111 lbs - a 15 lb. addition to my pre-pregnancy weight of 96 lbs. My doctor isn't bothered at all because I used to be underweight anyway. Then, my waistline is now at 35 inches. One more inch and I'd fit into my husband's pants.





Scrapbook Layouts
































I have been in a creative rut for months now and so, it was a big accomplishment for me to finish 4 layouts in one sitting. For our baby's sake (and for both me and hubz' sakes too), I have decided to create a baby book that will document our thoughts, feelings, photos, and emotions from conception to birth. I hope that my efforts will pay off later when our baby is big enough to appreciate and treasure what I've done. Of course, my no. 1 fan is still, undoubtedly, my husband.


We're having a boy!!!!



I had my ultrasound during my 19th week (Aug. 19th to be exact). I was uncomfortable the whole time because my bladder was full. When I saw my baby waving at us, I couldn't help but be amused. Even insde the womb, he was already showing us that he's got star potential. There really is life inside of me - moving and breathing! This must be how a stage mom feels like. I feel like I'm the mom of the smartest kid in the world! Of course, daddy was equally proud. He'd show this photo to anyone who would care to see.

Hubz knew all along that we're having a boy. Even when people around me thought I'm having a girl (all because I look good), he would tell me it's going to be a boy. Now he is so excited because he's got a playmate. Ahhh, boys!


Call me sentimental

Hubz sent me an email a while back that said "I wanted to do this for you and for our baby. I want to give you both a comfortable life". I have never had anyone tell me that. All my life, I have always been my family's breadwinner. I took the responsibility of sending my brother to school, supporting my family, building them a nice home, helping my grandma remodel hers. Every decision I make, I have to always consider them. It gets tiring sometimes because here I am, exhausting myself from work while my brother and my mom remain unemployed - just waiting for their monthly allowance. I cannot lose my job even for a day because I need the money to support them plus pay for my own bills.

It just felt good hearing those words coming from someone who wants to take care of me for a change. I have taken care of everyone else my whole life, and maybe this is God’s way of rewarding me.


I've been tagged

Tagged by Ela, here's my take:

Seven things that scare me:
- hell
- devil/satan
- heights
- crimes
- ghosts
- reptiles
- losing a loved one

Seven things I like the most:
- feeling my baby move
- reading
- scrapping
- surfing the net
- travelling
- going home to PI (to be with my husband and family)
- shopping

Seven random facts about me:
- I just celebrated my 32nd birthday
- I am now on my 23rd week of gestation
- I love to shop
- Two boys in my life that I love with all my heart - my husband and my unborn son.
- I am my family's breadwinner
- I am the eldest in the family
- My secret wish is to become a SAHM someday... :)

Seven important things in our bedroom:
- Bed
- Hubz photos
- My family's photos
- Comforter
- Alarm Clock
- TV
- Phone

Seven things I plan to do before I die:
- Make sure my family will be well taken cared of
- Secure my child's/children's future
- Go to confession
- Ask forgiveness to those I've offended
- Forgive those who offended me
- Visit the Vatican
- Unite my family

Seven things I can do:
- Cook
- Bake
- Sew
- Scrap
- Dance
- Read
- Decorate/clean the house

Seven things I can’t do:
- watch nonsense TV programs
- sit still for a long period of time
- say no to my family
- be a big spender
- go to the moon
- ride a rollercoaster
- watch horror movies alone

Seven things that attract me to the opposite sex:
- smart
- funny
- kind
- patient
- understanding
- God-fearing
- responsible

Seven things I say the most:
- Oh my God
- Uy
- Thank God
- Geez
- Kamote ka
- My gulay
- Ngee

Seven celeb crushes (whether local or foreign):
- Hugh Jackman
- Aga Muhlach
- Brad Pitt
- Tom Welling
- Mel Gibson
- Denzel Washington
- Chad Michael Murray

Seven people you want to see take this quiz:
- Xtine
- Gem
- Josephine
- Jody
- Hanagirl
- Selina
- Leirs