My Wishlist

Christmas is 59 days away, and it's never too early to start on my christmas wishlist. Of course, with the economy being the way it is these days, they may just remain on my list.... :)

For the geek in me... the MacBook Pro!
For the bookworm in me... the Amazon Kindle!

For the mamarazzi in me... the SB-600 flash!

For the working woman/mom-on-the-go in me... the Louis Vuitton Palermo!

For the scrapbooker in me... the Cricut Personal Cutting System!

LP 30: Liwanag


Ang litratong ito ay kuha ko noong Nobyembre 1999 sa Flagstaff, Arizona. Panahon ito ng taglagas kaya halos ubos na ang dahon sa puno. Lubha akong nabighani sa ganda ng pagsikat ng araw kaya kagyat kong kinuha ang mano-mano kong camera. Isa ito sa paborito kong kuha.

Tinitingnan ko ang litratong ito tuwing nakakaranas ako ng pagsubok sa buhay. Kung susuriing mabuti ang litrato, para itong nangungusap at nagbibigay pag-asa. Para bang sinasabi niya na huwag matakot dahil pagkatapos ng dilim ay liliwanag din. Patunay na ang kasunod ng gabi ay isang bagong umaga na puno ng pag-asa. Kahit na nalalagas ang mga dahon, tutubo at babalik muli sila sa panahon ng tagsibol.

Napakabuti talaga ng Diyos! Para bang kinakausap niya tayo sa pamamagitan ng Kanyang mga likha.

Breastfeeding Challenges

I would like to think that I have done as much as I could on this area of motherhood. But, unlike other mothers out there, I simply wasn't blessed with enough milk supply for my baby. Even my lactation consultant confirmed that I have done everything to the T, but I still couldn't feed my baby full breastmilk. Even when I have succumbed to taking Reglan, a medication that supposedly increases milk supply, I couldn't extract more than 2-3 oz of milk per pumping. Is it because I had complications with my C-section? Is it because we have been plagued by seemingly endless issues and problems this time around? Or is it because, simply put, I wasn't blessed with enough milk ducts or they didn't develop fully? Is it related to my PCOS? For whatever reason, I simply cannot produce enough for my little Calix.

Since I started with the patch, I also noticed a steady decline in my milk supply, especially now that I ran out of Reglan. It has occurred to me to just stop trying and leave Calix with formula - he has no complaints anyway. But I was surprised that my husband noticed that I haven't been giving Calix breastmilk. He told me to keep pumping, and maybe I'll trigger the supply again.

You see, unlike Kail, Calix never had constipation, nor did he develop ectopic dermatitis. My husband thinks it's because he was getting more breastmilk than Kail ever did. But even with all these issues of milk supply, I am still grateful I was able to make it to the 5th month. My goal was 6 months but nature had other plans!

I truly salute all breastfeeding moms out there. This wasn't a walk in the park. I had to endure lots of sleepless nights because I had to steadily pump every 2-3 hours just to increase my supply. I am not ashamed at nursing my son in public - my only issue is that he still felt hungry after that. I just wish I had more to offer you know?

These past few days, news of financial gloom and doom have hit the headlines. You cannot help but feel depressed of it all. The world's economic giant is finally falling on its knees! The stock market has hit the fan. I dare not even look at my 401K anymore!

In the homefront, I have been doing a lot of calculations lately, doing my very best to stick within budget as even our dollars feel battered and torn in this economic chaos. We have been doing our part to save on utilities. I heard in Oprah show yesterday that unplugging unused appliances can save on electricity, so I've started doing that. We have programmed our sprinkler system to twice a week now. We maintain a list of groceries whenever we go to the store and we make sure we stick to that list. We try to go to the groceries with a full stomach so we won't be tempted to buy unnecessarily. We have avoided eating out. Every little bit counts.

Yesterday morning, as Kail moved to our bed, I realized that at the end of the day, everything that mattered to me most are in that bed - my husband and my two kids. As we are also undergoing some trying times, I am confident that everything will come to pass, and that the Lord will guide our way out. I believe that when the Lord turns our lives upside down, it is because He has something better planned.

Litratong Pinoy #27

Ito ang unang linggong lalahok ako sa "palaro" ng litratong pinoy. Ang tema ngayong linggong ito ay ang Kompyuter. Ito ang isang bagay na malapit sa aking puso dahil dito namin kinukuha ang ikinabubuhay namin. Dahil dito, nakarating ako sa Amerika upang maghanapbuhay.

Tunay na sa panahon natin ngayon, nakalulungkot isipin na hindi kumpleto ang ating mga araw kung hindi natin nagagamit ang ating mga kompyuter. Lubhang naging alipin na tayo ng makabagong teknolohiyang ito.

I've been out of circulation yet again. Calix is almost 5 months now, and is growing up so fast - right before our very eyes. He started eating solids a week ago and like his kuya, he's proving to be a big eater. Kail on the other hand, currently has ear infection so he's been coughing and sneezing, and his nose is dripping.

Here is my boys' latest photo - my favorite one. It is not always often that they get together like this - for camera's sake, so the mamarazzi in me had to take advantage... :)




Kail is a very good kuya. We can now ask him to do things for Calix - like give us diapers, give him his bottle. And he also loves hugging and kissing his baby brother. Calix, however, seem to dislike being near is kuya. Even when these two boys came from the same parents, you can see, even this early, their differences in attitude. Kail is so friendly and malambing while Calix seemed a bit distant. Calix doesn't do well with strangers unlike Kail who flashes his beautiful grin to everyone. But, differences or not, we still love them so much!

I am one who takes pride in being able to balance career and family life, but at the back of my mind, I had hoped that I wouldn't be in a position when I would have to choose between career and family because the choice is obvious. To someone who values family like I do, it's hands down family right? But, it wasn't as easy a choice as I thought.

I was recently faced with a decision between career advancement and family. I talked to hubz about it and he said it best - "Weigh your priorities. Choose what will make you happy". In the end, I decided to forego that chance to climb up the corporate ladder.

Because I can work from home on most days, I get that opportunity to take part in my kids' milestones. Time with my kids is something I will never be able to get back would I miss their growing up years. Sure, I'd get the chance to rub shoulders with who's who in the company but what good would that do if my own kids wouldn't even recognize me? At the end of the day, their hugs and wet kisses mean more to me than all the money and fame in the world. After all, I'm a mom 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year and I couldn't be happier.

I've been out of touch for a long time again, but with some very good reasons. With two kids to care for, I couldn't even find the time to catch my breath. And if that isn't a good enough reason, we decided to move to a new house during the last week of July. If you think those are enough to drive anyone insane, I took two summer classes at the Community College to finally complete my Real Estate prerequisite for taking the state test. Since summer classes are only 8 weeks long, all courses had to be taught double the time which means I cram 4 times as much because I took two classes! If you think I'm done with those three heavy reasons to be out of touch, I'm also back to work since July 7th.

To those who have been aware of my C-section complications, I am healing better now - thank God! However, I have an outpatient procedure on Friday at a surgeon's office to finally put this issue to rest.

And if you think I'm done giving reasons, well, you're in for a big surprise! My family has been going through some rough times lately because of what I thought were good investments that ended up haunting me. Anyway, we're taking it one day at a time with hope that this too, shall pass.

So, if you get the chance to see me, don't be surprised since I dropped 34 lbs in all since giving birth (I only gained 30 lbs total throughout the whole pregnancy). I'm 4 lbs lighter than my pre-pregnancy weight. 4 more lbs to go and I'll reach my pre-marital weight at 100 lbs!

Other than that, God has been good to our family and we couldn't be more than grateful.

Welcome Calix Matthias!

Calix was born on May 8, 2008 at 8:48 am via a scheduled C-section at Sutter Solano Medical Center in Vallejo. He weighed 9.6 lbs and was 21 inches long at birth. Like his kuya, he is in perfect health and he brought with him tremendous joy.

I am currently recovering from complications on my C-section. My doctor referred to it as wound hematoma. In layman's terms, my incision hasn't closed because I had clots and the inside isn't healing as expected. With this, I have had to visit my OB daily to have her change the dressing. I have also been in pain since Day 1 though I refuse to take pain killers unless necessary because I am trying to breastfeed. This has been a traumatic post partum recovery and it made me seriously consider not having another one. My only consolation amidst all these is that I have another beautiful son whom I absolutely adore.

Belated Happy Mother's Day to all. Here's to the many sacrifices moms can endure for the sake of their beloved children.

Please include me in your prayers for a speedy recovery as well.

Tomorrow, May 8 at 7:30am, I am going in for a scheduled C-section to meet Baby Calix - the latest addition to the Apolo household. I am enjoying the last few hours alone with Kail because I know I'll miss him terribly while I'm at the hospital. Since he was born 28 months ago, we haven't been apart at night. If the hospital won't allow him to stay, then he and his dad would have to sleep at home and I'd be left all alone.

While we are busy doing our last minute preparation for the big day (the husband is out on the yard mowing the lawn), I am feeling under the weather. I have colds and my throat felt sore. We have a pre-op appointment this afternoon and I'll just bring it up then. Gosh, I hope they could get me something that'll make these symptoms go away. I don't want the baby to get infected on his first few days of life, and as much as possible, I don't want to put off the delivery date any longer. I am having trouble sleeping already due to my carpal tunnel, and then there's the uncomfortable feeling of a heavy tummy. I'm having difficulty walking and standing up. There's also the pressure on my lower abdomen (like menstrual cramps). I really think it's time.

Won't you please include is in your prayers for a safe delivery and a healthy baby? Thanks so much!

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I met with Mary, the lactation consultant from La Leche League and she gave me lots of useful information to help me be successful in breastfeeding. She also promised to be available to me anytime and promises to visit once in a while to see how I'm doing. Because of my breastfeeding issues with Kail, I am really keen on successfully breastfeeding this time around so I'm trying to get all the help I could get up front.

To my dear husband, Happy, Happy Birthday!

Thank you for the love, support, understanding, kindness, and care you have given me through the years.

Thank you for being a great husband and a wonderful father to Kail, and soon, to Calix as well.

I love you... more than you'll ever know!

I would just like to post some new layouts I did in two days. Layout 1 is a project from Big Picture Scrapbooking's Gretchen Schmidt's class I took in September last year. Layouts 2, 3, and 4 are based from the Pagemaps book and Valerie Salmon's sketches.

Materials used: paper - Basic Grey Buddy Boy and Bazzill Basics; Notecard - Mellette Berezoski; photo by Picture Co.

Journalling: Kail, at age one, we already know you have a cheerful personality. You always have that cute little smile on your face. Keep it up even when life throws you lemons sometimes.

Materials used: cardstock - Bazzill; patterned paper - Basic Grey Gypsy; Font - Heidi Swapp; Notecard - Imaginisce

Materials used: cardstock - Bazzill; patterned paper - Chatterbox; font - Making Memories; Notecard - K&Co.

Journalling: Kail discovered monkey bar at the playground and he loved it! With dad's help, he'd swing back and forth and giggle. My son is definitely 100% boy!

Materials used: cardstock - Bazzill; patterned paper - Chatterbox; Photo corner - Heidi Swapp; "Happiness" font - K&Co; "is" font - Making Memories

Journalling - Happiness is... having you as our son, seeing your beautiful smile everyday, having a son that always exudes happiness!

It has been a while since my last post. To those who were wondering, no, I haven't given birth yet. But, as of yesterday, I am officially on maternity leave. It feels strange to be at home and not working (this is because I work from home on most days). Kail is probably wondering why I'm always around him, but nevertheless welcomes my being a dotting mother. We read, play, snuggle, take naps together. The husband also welcomes the break from taking care of the little guy.

I am starting to pack my hospital bag, and I have completed the baby's stuff in there. I just need to add my own and we're ready to go. In the meantime, there's also a lot on my To Do list before the big day that we have to fulfill.

My carpal tunnel has been bothering me lately. I couldn't sleep well at night because of the numbness and the pain on my wrist. This is the one thing I dislike on my last trimester of pregnancy. I've had this with Kail and I have it again this time. Oh well, I just have to live with it. Besides, a couple of weeks more and I'll be carpal tunnel-free (I hope).

Maternity Portraits and Tagged!

On Saturday, we had our photo shoot with none other than Auey Santos of Photograffiti. It was such a fun shoot!

I've always admired Demi Moore's unforgettable maternity portrait and though I don't have the heart to bare it all, I can daresay I have the courage to bare my very pregnant tummy! The photos can be found here. I couldn't be happier with the images.

Kudos to Auey for her talent and overflowing creativity and artistry!

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I've been tagged by Dang and here's my take on the Six Unimportant Things About Me:

1. I love chocolates even when it triggers my migraine. The darker it is, the better for me!

2. I hate the taste of milk (it used to upset my stomach) but because of calcium, I have acquired the taste.

3. I love to shop! In fact, I hoard lots of scrapbook supplies though I barely make a dent.

4. I am OC when it comes to the bathroom. I like the faucets sparkling, the sink white as snow so I wipe it off everytime we use the bathroom. I've also taught the husband and my son to clean as they go so cleaning won't bea big production number everytime.

5. I love taking photos and I love being in photos!

6. I can read and watch TV at the same time. When I was in school, I used to study and do my homework in frontof the TV. Call it multitasking, hehehe!

I owe one more tag from Gem. Hope to get to it soon!

I finally replaced my 3 year old Treo with this sweetheart:
I love, love, love my new iPhone. What's great is that I didn't have to shell out a fortune for this darling. A close friend neighbor's major weakness is collecting the latest cellphone craze. She got this baby a couple of months ago and after minimal use, she decided it was too big for her. She sold it to me for a fraction of its original cost with some accessories! I didn't even have to pay for taxes. I'm a happy camper! ;)

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I was able to churn out 5 LOs in 3 nights. If you know me, this is a BIG milestone since I haven't touched my scrapbook supplies since September last year. Here are the latest LOs I created:






Valerie Salmon's sketches provided the inspiration to finish three of them. I also decided to splurge on flowers when I can. With a house full of boys, it is not often I get to do this (even when I have tons of flower embellies to use).

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I also had Kail's 1st birthday album printed from Blurb. Special thanks to Jeff Lopez for providing the digital layouts.

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We have not been successful at potty-training Kail yet. Hubz isn't consistent at making him pee every 30 minutes or so (he gets lazy sometimes - men!). This is what I'll focus on when I start my maternity leave. I plan to go off a couple of weeks early - April 21st - so I'll have time with Kail and hubz, and hopefully, I can rest a bit before the baby comes on May 8.

We have opted for another C-section. Because of my gestational diabetes, I might have another big baby and might have another hard time at getting him through the birthing canal.

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On my previous post, I mentioned I'm going to have a date with hubz while a friend babysat Kail. Hubz and I did get the chance to watch a movie, but my friend gave me a surprise baby shower after we got back. I wasn't really expecting it since this is our second baby, it was going to be another boy, we were able to keep all of Kail's stuff for the next baby to use. Anyhow, it was still a welcome surprise. I'm so blessed to have good friends.

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I still owe Gem and Dang their tags. Will get to them as soon as I can - promise!

We have started training Kail to sleep on his own bed since Saturday. Hubz and I have squatted in his room to make sure he doesn't feel afraid when he wakes up and find himself alone, and would thus, refuse to sleep in his room. We noticed that he would wake up at wee hours in the morning to move to the adjacent airbed (where hubz and I are sleeping for the past week). We didn't mind because almost all kids we know do that - move to their parents' beds when they awake, that is. But last night was pure success. He slept on his bed the whole night! It was actually I who would wake up in the middle of the night to check on him and make sure he's ok. The hubz has been teasing me that Kail seems ready to move to his own bed but I'm just not quite ready to let go. He's absolutely right! If not for the coming baby, I would reminisce him sleeping in our bed for as long as he'd want to - nevermind the fact that Kail occupies most of the bed while hubz and I are squeezed in on both edges. Also, for the past couple of days, he has been taking his afternoon naps on his bed - without his daddy beside him. You see, with Kail, he loves sleeping atop his daddy so it's truly an achievement for him to sleep alone. I have to pat my husband on the back for being so patient at training him. Now, if only we'd have the same patience to potty train him as well!


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I have finished creating Kail's ABC Album (which I started last night by the way). You can browse the finishedproduct here. It is now ready for printing - yahoo! Thanks to Jessica Sprague's pre-made design that made this photo book easy peezy!


Special thanks to The Picture Company for the photo on the cover, first page and to the Grandmas' photos. Another kudos to Jeff Lopez for the Family and Xtra Special photos. Those were taken from Kail's first birthday party.

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Our close friend and kumare L volunteered to babysit Kail tomorrow while the husband and I goes on a much needed time alone. She actually convinced me to take that date day since we won't have this time alone when baby no. 2 comes along. Kail is well-loved (and Kail loves playing with his kuya and ates too) by our friend's kids so we know he'll be in good hands.

Kail has a Dancing Tots class in the morning, and we'll probably head to Union City immediately to attend KuyaAxel's birthday party at Chuck E Cheese. Then we'll drop Kail off at the A's, have lunch, then watch a movie.We need to head back before nighttime because we promised our neighbor we'll watch Pacquiao with them at their house.

We're excited! It's the first time in ages I'd be out with the husband. That's the price we pay for having no help nor family around.

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Happy weekend everyone!

My three-year old Palm Treo 600 finally conked out on me! I can still call and receive calls but I can't hear anything! I have my office extension forwarded to my cell and on several occasions today, I have had to call back colleagues because though they can hear me, I can't hear anything! :(

This weekend, I may have to visit our nearby AT&T wireless store to get a new phone. Wish me luck!

Potty Training

The weekend passed by like a breeze and now I'm longing for more especially since the weather was beautiful!

We have started potty training Kail. Talk about tough and not happening overnight! He knows how to pee in the potty, but he still doesn't tell us when he wants to pee! I had to ask him every 30 minutes or so if he wanted to use the potty and thank God he would always oblige. The husband on the other hand, doesn't have the patience to keep asking so I guess that's pulling him back on weekdays. Though he did say "potty" last night and I brought him to the bathroom as fast as a lightning could, hehe!

I know he's ready for potty training though because he can recognize when his diaper is full and would ask us to "change pah-per"

Abangan, when we'll be successful at this, and then the harder part will follow - poopoo! I'm dreading this already!

Any tips you can share mommies?

It's my 8th year anniversary as an employee at the V (but my 10th year if you count my contractor days). Am I thankful? You bet I am! A lot of good things came my way from working here. I have also learned so many things in the process, and have won a lot of friends as well. I can honestly say that though I am part of the minority, they never treated me otherwise. My skills accounted for the respect I have gotten from my co-workers regardless of whether I was educated in a third world country. Working here had been both a rewarding and a fulfilling part of my career.

To those who know me, I do not stay beyond the 2-year mark in any company so this is quite an exception. Why? Because they pay well and they treat their employees fairly. If you're good and hardworking, your efforts will be rewarded. The benefits are awesome - among the best I've seen so far in the Bay Area.

So here's to many, many more years of employment at the V (hopefully my job doesn't get outsourced).

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I am having a tough time breathing these days. Whenever I take the train, I feel I'm being suffocated. I keep tossing and turning on my seat. My OB said this is normal because my uterus is pushing my lungs as the baby grows.

I am also feeling strain on my legs. Could it be that I'm having another big baby? I'm only on my 29th week and I feel I'm waddling already!

Whenever I stretch out at night, you bet leg cramps will follow!

As far as sleeping goes, I cannot seem to find a good position either.

And the backaches are becoming more and more constant. Thank God for a husband who gives a good rub in the back!

Sigh, I still have a long way to go! Oh, please don't think I'm complaining. I'd do anything for the baby!

We came back from Vegas on Tuesday at 1am. The traffic along Hwys 15 and 58 were terrible!

So, what did we do while in Vegas? On Saturday morning, we went to Red Rock Canyon in Nevada. In the afternoon, we walked along the strip and watched freebie shows. On Sunday, we went to Mt. Zion National Park in Utah. In the evening, we let the kids loose at Circus Circus' children's play area. On our way home on Monday, we dropped by Hoover Dam. Productive and pretty tiring I'd say... ;)

Kail enjoyed playing with my friend's kids (ages 11, 7, 5). The way they treated each other were like siblings. Even up to this day, Kail would do a roll-call - ate? uya (for kuya)? tita? My friend L said her kids also miss Kail a lot and have been bugging her when they'd be able to see my little guy again. Cute!

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I have been very open about our journey through Infertility in the past. It took us 2 years to finally conceive. Hubz and I were both in tears when the pregnancy test came positive. I had tears in my eyes when I saw Kail and held him in my arms for the very first time. Now that I'm pregnant again, we are excited but not so much like the first. This time, there's a little bit of apprehension mixed in. Would we be able to handle raising a toddler andan infant at the same time? How would Kail react to a new addition in the family? Will he feel jealous if our attention is suddenly divided in two? But this video made me realize that we are so blessed to have been given another chance to become parents. There are couples who have been longing and are still waiting for this miracle to happen. We know the feeling - we've been there before.

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There was a thread on one of my e-groups about living with in-laws and though I didn't get the chance to sharemy point of view, I thought I'd post my two cents on my blog.

There is a reason why leaving one's parents to be one with the spouse is biblical. I firmly believe that couples should be given the chance to work their marriage out and live on their own. Having in laws or parents in the same household complicates matters and might even rock the marriage in the end. I should know because I grew up living with my paternal grandparents and siblings. There would often be disagreements between my mom and my dad, between my mom and my dad's siblings, between my mom and the grandparents. That might have caused (in part) the break-up in their marriage. It was then that I vowed to myself that I wouldn't put myself in the same situation when I have a family of my own.

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I'd like to blog about my son's new pediatrician. With Kail's former pediatrician, the wait time is unbelievable and when we're finally seen, she would check on him as fast as she could. I feel that she can't wait to get us out the door! When Kail developed horrible rashes on his face and skin, she kept giving him creams to help withthe itching, but it doesn't make those rashes go away. I have asked over and over for a specialist referral but she would shrug my concerns off. Only after 7 or 8 months did she finally cave in and gave us a referral to an allergist. Kail was diagnosed as allergic to eggs and nuts!!!!

If she didn't take her sweet little time on thereferral, we would've immediately known and I would've stopped giving him anything that has eggs on it (bread,cakes, etc). When I was breastfeeding, I would've refrained from taking in anything with eggs. If only those things happened, the rashes might've been controlled and my poor little Kail didn't have to suffer.

So, after years of looking for a realiable pediatrician, a friend finally recommended Dr. M who holds clinics in Vallejo, Benicia, and Fairfield. She's heaven-sent! She doesn't make us wait any longer than 10 minutes. She's always very attentive to what we tell her, and she's good at pacifying our concerns and making our worries go away. She takes time to look and examine Kail when sick. She would even give us tips on raising a toddler like discliplining him. I just can't imagine why it took us this long to find her!!!

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Happy weekend everyone! Stay dry if you're in NorCal!