I get asked when I am going to carry my husband's name, what my new last name is, or when I am going to change my name. For personal reasons - reasons that has something to do about my husband's petition to come to the US, I haven't changed my name, and my husband understands that.
Really, what's in a name?
If I don't carry my husband's name, does that mean I don't love him enough? Does that mean he isn't important to me?
Well, if it ain't obvious, he's the most important person in my life now. After all, we're a family. Plus, he knows I love him dearly.
I told him that when he's here (hopefully soon), I'd hyphenate his name with mine. He agreed because he knows that I've built my reputation around the name my father gave me. After all, I have been carrying it all my life.
I have known women who, after getting married, decided not to change their names. I respect that. I truly believe that marriage shouldn't be measured by carrying a common last name alone.
We all have our reasons. We can debate over this for hours. Women ought to have the option to keep their names, and not be criticized or questioned by that choice. After all, sons are able to carry on the family's name, but daughters' can't. At least not in the society we're in, or not unless you're an unmarried woman with children.
2 comments:
hi there. I've thought about retaining my maiden name even after getting married once or twice but decided to carry my hubs' surname because we would be living in NZ and I know that the people here would have a hard time pronouncing my pinoy surname plus I would have to spell it to them all the time and I couldn't be bothered doing that so...there!
From the beginning, I was adamant about keeping my last name. I told the Big Guy, I am just as proud of my name as he is of his. I will admit, it's a conversation that comes up once in a while. I feel like it doesn't make me less of a wife by not taking his name. I even brought up the thought of, if I was to take his name, would he legally take mine as well? No comment on that part, that I can assure you :). I hold firmly to the fact that my last name is part of who I am and it is something I own that no one can take. My capabilities as a wife and as a mother has nothing to do with what name I chose to go by.
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