What's Going On???

I have neglected this blog (again) for far too long and I thought I'd drop by to share what's happening with us these days.

Of all the days to sprain my ankle, I did so last Thursday when I was running down the stairs, reading a work-related document, and missed a couple of steps down. I thought I broke my ankle but a quick trip to the ER proved otherwise (thank God). I wouldn't want to be on a cast on Christmas day, moreso, being pushed by my roommate on a wheelchair at the airport, while I push Kail's stroller. Wouldn't that be a funny sight? Now I'm walking with an aircast (which I can remove when I feel like it).

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I am done shopping, wrapping presents, distributing them (almost), and sending Christmas cards. I am almost done packing for our trip to Manila on Monday night (yay!).

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Friday the 22nd was my last day at work, and I'm now officially off on holiday. I will be back on January 16th (the 15th is a Martin Luther King Jr. holiday). I have been so swamped the last few weeks leading to my vacation. I have a lot of To Dos on my list that I have (thank God) all ticked off.

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I am looking forward to seeing father and son meet for the very first time. Just thinking about it has gotten me teary eyed already. I can sense hubz' excitement whenever I talk to him on the phone. He kept buying stuff for Kail, and making sure everything's perfect for his big birthday.

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I got a letter from NVC (National Visa Center) yesterday to inform me that they received my request for hubz' petition upgrade and they are currently looking at his case. They will keep us informed of the result. I pray, pray, pray... AMEN!

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2006 in Review

God has blessed us with so much this year that our hearts are overwhelmed with joy and praise. We also have had challenges and struggles but they were outnumbered with the many graces God has bestowed upon our family and our loved ones. So, let me take this moment to take you back in time as we review the highlights of our year...

In January, I gave birth to a healthy 8.10 lb, 22 in. Caerwyn Mikhail via C-section at Sutter Solano Community Hospital in Vallejo, California. Ten days later, friends saw me dancing the night away at my roommate's big milestone birthday bash

In February, I continued to adjust to my new role as a mom. Kail was very colicky so he would cry incessantly the whole night. The lack of sleep contributed to my low milk supply.

In March, I brought Kail to the office so my teammates would see him. He flashed his toothless grin on everyone! Such a friendly little fellow!

In April, Kail's Grandma Luz (my mom's sister) and Grandpa Bertil (my aunt's husband) came to visit. We took them to Lake Tahoe with the then 3-month old Kail - his first out of town trip. I think I brought along stuff good for a year! I also went back to work in April - leaving Kail to lola L's care.

In May, hubz celebrated his 35th birthday while Kail celebrated his 4th month. It was also my first Mother's Day as a mom. We also had Kail's christening that same month.

In June, I started getting busy at work with a huge project for October install. It was quite a challenge juggling on my new role as a mom, and my responsibilities at work.

In July, Kail celebrated his 6th month with a bang on the 4th of July!

In August, we saw Kail's rashes clearing up a bit. His allergist determined that Kail has allergies to eggs and nuts so he couldn't eat anything that has those on it.

In September, I celebrated my 33rd birthday with my handsome little prince. We had lunch at a Thai restaurant with my roommate, then dinner with very close friends at my favorite seafood restaurant - good company, great food, a handsome escort - what more could a girl ask?!

In October, the huge project I was working on was implemented. It was such a relief to find that there were no problems in Production. On a sad note, Lola L, who has taken care of Kail since I went back to work, has decided to come back to the Philippines. Thank God for good friends because N and J referred me to their aunt who has taken over caring for Kail.

In November, I became an American citizen through an oath-taking ceremony on Nov.14. Coincidentally, I first came to the US on Nov. 13, 1997. That same month, we also celebrated Thanksgiving with a few friends. There is a lot to be thankful for this year.

In December, we are counting down for Christmas and for Kail's first trip home.

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Here is my gift to myself (a new Nikon D80 DSLR camera with 18-135mm lens):



My gift to Kail (Venturer Car DVD player with Dual 7" screens and players):


Santa's gift to good boy Kail (Baby Einstein Collection #2):

Daddy's gift to Kail - a set of drums, and his big birthday bash on January 7, 2007.

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See you all next year!

From our family to yours...

A blessed Christmas and a prosperous 2007. Amidst the hustle and bustle of the season, may we never forget that Jesus is the reason for the season.

I had my citizenship oath-taking at Nob Hill Masonic Center in San Francisco yesterday. Who would’ve thought I’d get there?

Coincidentally, Nov. 13th was my 9th year here in the US. I first stepped foot in the land of the free on Nov. 13, 1997. I was a scared-out-of-my wits 24 year old then. People at work didn’t take me seriously because according to them, I looked like a kid. I had to earn their respect. They gave me the toughest and most complicated projects. I would sometimes spend the night at work, not having a car during my first year, and overly dependent on public transportation. I slept on sleeping bags because I had to save my money for a car downpayment. I wasn’t paid overtime even when I work 60-75 hours a week. I was paid measly by the agency that hired me. After 2 years of slaving for them, I finally accepted the client’s offer to convert me into a regular employee. I had to make sure I am over the 2 year period, or I’d pay $12K to the agency that milked me!

I decided to leave for the US because opportunities in the Philippines were limited. I was overlooked for a promotion because I did not graduate from UP, Ateneo, DLSU, nor from any of those “exclusive” A-list schools. Whenever I’d apply for jobs, I would always get asked whether I came from a reputable university. I swear I’d see smirks whenever I’d mention “Adamson University” – my alma mater. I may not have come from those A-list schools but I’m just as smart (if not better than most of their alumni). The Philippines’ corporate ladder is not designed for someone like me.

Looking back, I may have had lots of struggles here in America but my adopted country has been good to me all these years. It gave me a chance I would never have gotten in the Philippines. I was never discriminated because of my education. I am getting the comfortable life I deserve. I am able to help my family, and I can ensure that my son will have better opportunities. He will be spared of the obstacles I had to go through.

In yesterday’s ceremony, the speaker said “you’ve set your own destinies, you overcame your own obstacles”. With God’s help and constant guidance, I have truly reached my goal. I am part of the 1,327 new citizens from 95 countries that took the oath yesterday.

Who would’ve thought that this poor girl from the Philippines would get to where I am now? Not in my wildest dream!

Look who we saw at the mall on Saturday....


The stage mom in me had to rush into The Children's Place, got him that cute little polo shirt for that snapshot with Santa. I'm so proud of my little guy because while other kids his age cries at the sight of a big bearded man, he looked at him with a bewildered eye, and when the lady at the camera called his name, he flashed a smile! He's so well-trained by his papparazzi of a mom, hahaha!

The Vocabulary of a 10-month old baby...

While I was giving Kail a bath the other night, he kept saying “mamamamama”. This sounded like music to my ears. For the first time since he started blabbering, he finally uttered it! Though his first word was “tatatata” (for Tita, I think), then “dedede” (for milk), then “dadada” (for daddy), I’m proud to say that I am now part of his very limited vocabulary!

Trick or Treat!!!!

Kail was so cute in his hand-me-down from Kuya P's Tigger costume... :)

Yesterday was my citizenship interview. I showed up minus the interview appointment notice because I misplaced it a few weeks prior. The guard wouldn't let me in because I have to have an appointment letter before I am even allowed in. I cannot pose as a companion for my roommate who also happened to have the same interview date because mine is at 8:20 and hers is at 9:40. You will only be allowed to go in 30 minutes before your appointed time. Three weeks before my interview, I called the USCIS hotline and was told that I can come in without the notice because they would have a record of my interview schedule. She failed to mention I wouldn't go past the guards though!

I believe it was divine intervention because I was able to secure an InfoPass appointment just across the street. I was able to come through the gate where you can ask questions about your case. I told the USCIS officer about my case and he gladly handed me a referral slip and asked me to go straight to the 2nd Floor and show that slip to the Receptionist. Once there, the Receptionist verified that I was indeed scheduled for the interview, sent me to wait on Door A until my name is called. While waiting, I was really teary-eyed because I couldn’t believe how blessed I am. I am so thankful that I was able to get in, even without my appointment notice. I am also grateful for my roommate who was there to support me. If it wasn't for her constant push, I probably would've gone home and called it a day!

The interviewer asked me questions about my application, had me answer 10 US History questions, and had me write down "She was happy with her house". I was then asked to wait for my oath taking appointment and the rest was history!

The night before, I really prayed hard to get through the day and be able to pass my interview because I really would like to upgrade my husband's immigrant petition very, very soon. I am not complaining, though it would be nice if my husband will be able to help me take care of Kail. Most of the time, I'm just swamped and extremely overwhelmed. God heard my prayers. He truly is the greatest!

Yesterday was a very emotional day for me. I had to drag Kail out of bed by 5:40am, was on the road by 5:45, and dropped him off Auntie C’s house by 6am. By 6:05, I was back on the road on my way to work. While driving away, I was really crying. I feel bad having to take Kail out on a 51 degree weather but I don’t have a choice because I have to go to work. Even when Kail was his usual happy self, humming and baby talking, it still didn’t change what I felt.

J said it best – we do what we gotta do. If we had a choice, we wouldn’t do it otherwise. It’s true, I don’t have a choice. I have to work because my son is depending on me, and I’m depending on me, and my whole family is depending on me.

Come to think of it, I have simple dreams. I just want to be able to stay at home, watch my kids grow, and be able to take care of them.

I couldn’t help but count down for retirement – which is eons away!!!! Wish I could win the lottery!

Today of all days, Ma had the sniffles. I was so worried last night because she wasn't able to attend the J's birthday dinner since she wasn't feeling well. I needed to go to work today. It was our big install. So this morning, while I was washing Kail's bottles and preparing his things for the day, I was close to tears. The tears wouldn't fall though - maybe because I was just too tired, too stressed out, and too sleep-deprived to be emotional.

I asked whether she wanted to take the day to rest and reccuperate but she said she's ok to take care of Kail. I was prepared to call Auntie C (thanks J) to beg her to take care of Kail today. I really needed to come to work because I was on support. I'd probably lose my job if I don't show up - so there, it's that critical! In the end, I conceded because I saw Kail sound asleep. It just breaks my heart that I have to work and not be able to stay home like other moms can.

Tomorrow's another day… and yes, I also need to go to work.

My life as a working mom sometimes sucks! But everytime I see Kail happy and smiling and healthy, I just couldn't complain. He makes all the sacrifices worth my while.

A little more than a week ago, I celebrated yet another birthday. To those who emailed, texted, posted on my tagboard, called, sent a card - thank you all so much for remembering. Another year has passed and I am truly grateful for the year that was, and I have high hopes for the next ones to come. What's different this year? I'm a mom! I spent the day with my little guy - we went to church, had lunch with my roommate at a thai restaurant, then dinner with very close friends (his godparents) at my one of favorite seafood restaurant - The Dead Fish. Yummy food, good company, a very handsome escort - what more can a girl ask? Hubz also sent me a dozen roses, chocolates, and a cute little bear which Kail chewed on instantly! All in all, the day was great and life is good!

I am overwhelmed lately - working on a very stressful project to be installed on Oct. 13 (Friday the 13th - yikes!), taking care of a very active 8-month old, preparing all of Kail's food because of his allergies, household chores, planning for Kail's first birthday, keeping up with doctor's appointments (pedia and allergist). Keeping my sanity intact amidst all these is such a challenge. My therapy? Scrap shopping! I have evaluated my credit card spending these past few months and aside from baby stuff and necessities, scrap shopping has made a dent on my credit line. Have I churned up any layouts recently? Nope - not since October last year!

SO…I have decided that I ought to stop surfing on my favorite scrapbooking stores, and not spend a penny on scrapbook-related items UNTIL I have finished at least an album. BUT NOT UNTIL I have gotten my hands on that Ellison Big Shot AND paper organizers. Those Doodle Genies from Chatterbox sure looked yummy, so do the papers from Imagination Project/Gin-X, Cosmo Cricket stuff is tempting too…Well, you get the drift….

On Kail-front, he is now 8 months. It's unbelievable how much he has grown. He loves to crawl, stands up for long periods of time (with support, of course), sways his head from shoulder to shoulder, loves watching Baby Einstein DVDs, is allergic to eggs and nuts (and anything that has those on it), smiles a lot, knows how to use his charm to get what he wants (mommy needs to watch out for this).

This weekend, we are going out of town with some close friends (his godparents again) to Turtle Bay. This is Kail's second trip out of town. His first was at Tahoe in April with my aunt and uncle from Sweden.

My naturalization application is also underway. I needed to do this so I could upgrade hubz' petition. I pray that he'll be here very, very soon.

'Til next post - whenever that'll be! Note to self - need to get my thoughts organized! Take care everyone!

This baby knows how to work the camera... :)

Kail is now 6 months (turning 7 on Friday). Since he started eating solids, I feel like the best gourmet cook in the world because he devours everything I'd prepared for him (from scratch). Carrots is his favorite, and I'm surprised that he likes zucchinis as well. He loves gnawing at his teething biscuits and he prefers to hold a spoon when he gets fed. Baby pa, independent na.... like mommy like son, hehehe!

Funny how he won't take off a hat - no matter how uncomfortable he feels. My friends quipped "manang-mana sa mommy - sa ngalan ng porma, titiisin ang lahat!" To which I'd reply "ano'ng magagawa ko kung marunong pumorma ang anak ko 'no!"

Kail, I hope you'd keep that sense of style even when you're grown.

Kail's Christening photos are up and running. Thanks to A for these great shots! Will keep the website updated with his milestones as well.

Will update more soon. This momma's been busy with work (on weekdays) and children's parties (on weekends). My little Kail has been getting lots of party invitations! Such a sociable little guy!

Look Who's Looking

Here is Kail at four months. He had his well baby check-up on the 12th of May and boy has he grown! He is now 16.1 1/2 lbs., 26 3/4 inches in length. I can start him on solids by next week. He still has skin eczema (and I'm getting worried since his baptism is this coming Saturday). He's still on mittens because he tends to scratch his face. He's a very smart kid (coming from a stage mom) because he knows how to remove his mittens when he really wants to suck his fingers. He can hold his bottle with very little help, and what's funny is that he knows that a bottle equates to feeding. He gets excited whenever he sees it!

I have altogether stopped nursing him because my milk has dried up. I’m under a lot of stress lately – from work and at home. Taking care of an infant is not an easy task, and working 12 hour days is just as exhausting, not to mention being away from Kail for 14 hours when I go to work. I have done the best I could. I just feel so disappointed at myself for not producing enough milk to exclusively breastfeed him. But then again, stress could be a major factor there.

For the first two months of Kail’s life, he was very colicky. We’d be up all night. I would nurse him as much as he wants to, then give him formula. We would sit on a rocking chair as I lull him to sleep, while I’d also be pumping at the same time! I think the sound of the breastpump would soothe him to sleep, and when he does, I’d start crying. I have never felt so alone!

Now that I’ve stopped breastfeeding, I am now feeling nostalgic and sad at the same time. I don’t like to think I’m getting depressed, but it sure looks like it. Before I gave birth, I have envisioned myself exclusively breastfeeding for at least a year. I attended classes, read everything I can, bought myself a reliable but expensive breastpump and accessories. But nature had other plans. What I failed to do, though, is immerse myself in a breastfeeding support group like La Leche League. I found out that they have one in Napa with regular meetings every 2nd Tuesday of the month. Oh well, at least I know now. Until the next baby (hehehe!).

Here's hoping that everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day.

Before I go, I'd like to share this to all of you (especially to the moms out there). I found this message on my Inbox. Here goes...

Mother's Day is a thank you to every woman who has ever hugged a baby, kissed a boo-boo, taught a lesson, listened closely, cared deeply....

.... and passed on her love and wisdom to someone in the world who needed her....

The Long Overdue Post



The photo/s above is the same one we used for Kail’s baptism invitation. It’s prodly Philippine made by fellow-n@wie, Melisse. I’ve been getting lots of kudos on this!

I have been back to work for three weeks now and I have yet to get used to the idea of leaving my son very early in the morning on days that I don’t telecommute, and won’t get to see him again until nighttime. Crazy is an understatement, when used to describe how my days are like. As A puts it, I’m not just a mom, but a career woman, a breadwinner, a milk machine (at least I’d like to think so), a housekeeper. How I juggle with these roles is beyond me. I just know that I take it one day at a time, and hope that the next day will be better. I’m dead tired by the time I hit the sack but thankful nonetheless, for God’s greatest gift – my little Kail! He has given me a new purpose in life.

What else have I been up to these days? Well, preparing for Kail’s baptism is no easy feat. I have dilly-dallied on reserving the venue so I ended up at a buffet place in Vallejo (the dancing plan is out). I am giving/sending out the invitations a couple of weeks before the said event, I have yet to order a cake, and as I write, I still have gazillions of things on my mind. I am also in the process of closing a deal, which I’ll be able to hopefully blog about one of these days.

As far as Kail is concerned, he just turned 4 months yesterday. As usual, we have invited his godparents/neighbors to celebrate. He can now roll on his stomach, sleep on his side, coos and smiles a lot (I am beginning to think he is going to be a very talkative kid), shrieks when extremely happy (especially when he sees mommy, hehehe!), sucks on his fingers, can soothe himself to sleep, loves tummy time, has strong kicks. I’m glad that even when he has skin eczema on his face and body, he’s still a happy camper. He would sometimes get irritated if you keep his hands from scratching (after all, eczema can be very itchy), but he always has a ready smile for everyone. As of Apr. 21, he weighs 15.3 lbs. His next well baby visit will be on Friday next week which, he will be getting 5 vaccines (I have to brace myself for this).

Well, that’s it for now. I don’t update often but I try to bloghop whenever I can, and leave a few tidbits on my favorite blogs here and there. If I don’t get the chance to blog again soon, I’d like to greet all the moms out there a Happy Mother’s Day on May 14. I still have a list of greeting cards to send to all the important moms in my life – my mom, my grandma, my aunt, and my MIL. The cards might get to them late but I still want them to know I appreciate them more after I became a mom myself. Whenever I feel the urge to complain, I try to remind myself that my grandma raised 2 kids all on her own and at that time, there were no disposable diapers yet, so I ought to count myself lucky. Also, my mom has taken on the responsibility of being a mom and dad to us when my dad left for the US. That, in itself, is not an easy feat (especially raising a stubborn girl like me, hehehe!). I love you all very much!

This Too, Shall Pass

This has been my mantra when Kail was born - amidst sleepless nights, crying spells, adjustments on becoming a new mom, bouts with post partum depression. Sure enough, when Kail turned three months, life became so much better. He could sleep through the night, waking up only for feedings, the crying diminished (or is it because I can somehow guess why he's fussing?). I'd talk to him and he would coo back, with a matching toothless grin or a shriek. Though I love this time, I realize that my baby is growing up fast!

Just when the fun begins, I needed to go back to work. I spent the night before my first day back just gazing at him, hugging and kissing him. I know I'd miss him terribly, after spending those wonderful but exhausting 3 1/2 months with him. April 17 came and I cried when the alarm clock went off. I was sobbing when I left home. I would find myself daydreaming at work, and a tear would fall from time to time. When it was time for me to go home, my car almost flew. Seeing my son again was pure bliss. He was crying when I came home. As soon as I held him in my arms, he stopped and beamed at me. When I fed him, he wouldn't let go of my breast even when I knew he wasn't getting any more milk there. He wanted to be held all the time. I guess he must've missed me too!

Our time together may have been cut short by my need to report back to work. The quantity of time spent may become less but I intend to make up with quality. My heart would always ache when I leave and I would always wish I could be a stay at home mom. For now, I have to take it one day at a time and know that my time at work will pass. Knowing that my son also looks forward to my coming home is a sweet thought that keeps me going.

Mommy: Q & A

Sorry Day, for not responding on your tag right away.

How did you feel during those first few days after the birth?
==> I had a C-section so it was really hard for me to move around. But, I couldn't keep lying down because I had a baby to take care of. Also, I find myself crying for no apparent reason. Sometimes, when my baby cries, I am also in tears.

How were you emotionally?
==> Like I said, I just cry for no apparent reason. I am emotional whenever I see (on TV) children being abused - those scouring for food to eat in the garbage. Being a mom truly makes you susceptible to all the plights of children in the world!

Is there anything you wish people had told you about the postpartum period?
==> I wish they told me that there will be times when my patience will be tested, especially when the baby cries all night.

How long do you plan to breastfeed?
==> Up to 3 months, hopefully. He's mixed fed right now. I had to supplement with formula because my breastmilk isn't sufficient.

Do you have any advice for getting through those first weeks of breastfeeding?
==> I was fortunate because Kail latched on perfectly since Day 1. My only problem was my milk supply. I'd advise everyone to persevere and keep at it no matter how frustrating it can be. The rewards are enormous, and it's for the baby's welfare. Drink lots of fluids, especially water.

Was there any stress between you and your husband over the baby?
==> On times when I'm sleep deprived and cradling a crying baby in my arms, I really detest him not being here. There were also nights when I had to hang up on him due to frustration. I know it's not his fault but I just can't help it.

Let's talk about your body, Did things get totally rearranged?
==> Not really - I just have some more weight to lose.

Care to share how much you weighed before and how much now?
==> I was 96 lbs pre-pregnancy, 133 lbs on the day prior to giving birth, and 110 lbs now.

What advice-or comfort-can you offer other new moms about their weight ?
==> It took us 9 months to beef up so don't expect to lose all those weight overnight.

How important is it for you to have a work identity?
==> More than work identity, I need to keep my job so my baby and I would survive. I am the breadwinner (at least until my husband comes here) so I have no choice but to keep working. Much as I'd like to be a SAHM someday, I also want to work (even part time) to earn money. Aside from my son, my family in the Philippines (mom, brother, grandma) are also my dependents.

Was your baby a lot of fun right from the start?
==> Oh no - he cried a lot!

What's your baby like now?
==> He now smiles a lot, coos, and so much fun!

It would be nice to hear from other mom's too, so if your not busy with your little one, care to share - Jody, April, Litcoo, Alpha, Olive, Leirs, Meeya, Marie, Josephine.

Things I learned from my son

I still couldn't believe this big boy (now 12.13 lbs at 2 months) came from me!!!! I carried him in my womb for 9 long months!

In as much as babies learn from their parents, my son has taught me a lot of things as well.

1. He's the BOSS. He dictates when I can sleep, for how long, and when I need to wake up. He also dictates whether or not he will allow me to do my chores at home.

2. Babies are not CUTE all the time. When he starts crying, I want to take him back into my tummy!

3. SLEEP is a foreign word. He sleeps all the time, when I need to be awake, and stays awake when I need to sleep.

4. SLEEP like a baby meant waking up every 5 minutes. I couldn't believe how light my son sleeps. A little movement beside him (when we're co-sleeping) will immediately send his arms and legs flailing.

5. It's easier to take care of babies inside the tummy than out. Inside, I just worry when I don't feel him move. Outside, I worry when he can't keep still (especially if he cries all the time).

6. Babies CRY, EAT, SLEEP, POOP, PEE most of the time... and SMILE sometimes.

7. A SMILE would melt your heart away - even when you're sleep-deprived and over-fatigued. You'll even forget the night-long crying feat.

8. A BATH for me now meant 5 minutes in the shower - tops, and probably 2 minutes dressing up!

9. SHOPPING meant meandering in the baby section of the store - drooling over baby stuff to buy.

10. ME time is a thing of the past. It's all about HIM now.

No matter how hard it is taking care of this little creature, I wouldn't trade it in for anything in this world. I love being a mom. It truly is my most rewarding career ever.

The "New Mommy" Haircut

I just had to post this... bagay ba?



Kail had rashes on his face, which might've been caused by my curly locks so I decided to trade in my long hair to this. It felt good actually... been wanting to try a new "do" for sometime now. After all, being a mom does take the "me" time away. This haircut is easier to maintain, not to mention less use of shampoo and conditioner... :)

I've been tagged... atbp

First things first. Finally, Kail's photos have been posted at Shutterfly. That has long been overdue and I thank my husband for taking the initiative. Proud dad talaga! :)

This mom has been terribly busy these days - being the only person who takes care of my little one. I must admit, motherhood is tough, but none is as rewarding. There are times though, especially when Kail doesn't cease crying, that I've wondered about taking him back into my tummy... :) Of course, that's just wishful thinking.

Next, to you who has been posting messages on my tagboard (you know who you are), I see it and I get the message. However, I believe that there is a proper time and place for everything. The web is not a place to hang dirty laundry for everyone to see. Right now, I am not ready to get in touch with you. I pray that in time, I'd find it in my heart to accept things as they are.

Lastly, I've been tagged by Liza and here's my take:

4 Jobs I've had in my life --> Production Engineer; Programmer/Analyst; Sr QA Analyst; QA Engineer

4 movies i could watch over and over --> Sweet Home Alabama; The Notebook; A Walk to Remember; Somewhere in Time (hopeless romantic kasi ako)

4 places i've lived --> Daly City; Novato; San Rafael; American Canyon

4 tv shows i love to watch --> Smallville; Seventh Heaven; Charmed; Gilmore Girls

4 places i've been on vacation--> in the Philippines: Palawan, Bohol, Cebu, Boracay; in the US --> Martha's Vineyard, Niagara Falls, New York, Las Vegas

4 websites i visit daily --> yahoo mail; google mail; blogsite; yahoo groups

4 of my favorite foods --> kare-kare; sinigang; spaghetti; pansit

4 places i'd rather be right now --> in the Philippines with my loved ones; in Torino, Italy for the olympics; touring Europe; Down Under

4 bloggers i'm tagging --> Ate June; Jody; Selina; Bethski

Welcome Caerwyn Mikhail!



On January 4, 2006 at 2:39am, I gave birth to a healthy and beautiful baby boy via a C-section. He weighed 8.10 lbs and is 22 inches long.

I'll post another entry soon - and maybe a link with more photos. This mom's just busy dotting on her newborn.

Thank you for all the prayers and well wishes!

The Waiting Game

I had my weekly doctor's appointment yesterday and I was told that I am already 3cm dilated and 70% effaced. My cervix is favorable enough but I haven't gone into labor just yet. If only I was past 38 weeks, I would've been induced as I have a big baby and my doctor doesn't want to prolong my delivery. Though 37 weeks is considered full term, some babies act as if they're preemies so to make sure, she wanted to wait a week more. If I don't go into labor by Tuesday (my next appointment), I will be induced.

When I got home yesterday, I emailed my boss that this week will be my last working week until I go back from my maternity leave in April. I have also turned over the remaining work I have. I filed my maternity leave via our leave coordinator. I started working on my will. I have finalized my hospital pre-registration (I am changing insurance companies come January 1). I have also mailed the cord blood documents, which I have faxed to Viacord a couple of weeks back.

Last night, I was in my baby's room trying to arrange stuff. I think my nesting instinct is kicking in. It won't be long now...

Please pray for a smooth and safe delivery for me, and a healthy baby for us.

The Reason for the Season

A friend forwarded this email that I thought was worth posting. Amidst the hustle and bustle of the holidays, may we never forget that Jesus is still the reason for the season.

Merry Christmas everyone!

*****************

Dear loved ones,

As you well know, we are getting closer to my birthday. Every year there is a celebration in my honor and I think that this year the celebration will be repeated. During this time there are many people shopping for gifts, there are many radio announcements, TV commercials, and in every part of the world everyone is talking that my birthday is getting closer and closer.

It is really very nice to know, that at least once a year, some people think of me. As you know, the celebration of my birthday began many years ago. At first people seemed to understand and be thankful of all that I did for them, but in these times, no one seems to know the reason for the celebration. Family and friends get together and have a lot of fun, but they don't know the meaning of the celebration.

I remember that last year there was a great feast in my honor. The dinner table was full of delicious foods, pastries, fruits, assorted nuts and chocolates. The decorations were exquisite and there were many,many beautifully wrapped gifts. But, do you want to know something? I wasn't invited. I was the guest of honor and they didn't remember to send me an invitation. The party was for me, but when that great day came, I was left outside, they closed the door in my face .... and I wanted to be with them and share their table.

In truth, that didn't surprise me because in the last few years all close their doors to me. Since I wasn't invited, I decided to enter the party without making any noise. I went in and stood in a corner. They were all drinking; there were some who were drunk and telling jokes and laughing at everything. They were having a grand time. To top it all, this big fat man all dressed in red wearing a long white beard entered the room yelling Ho-Ho-Ho! He seemed drunk. He sat on the sofa and all the children ran to him, saying: "Santa Claus, Santa Claus" .. as if the party were in his honor!

At 12 midnight all the people began to hug each other; I extended my arms waiting for someone to hug me and ... do you know ... no one hugged me. Suddenly they all began to share gifts. They opened them one by one with great expectation. When all had been opened, I looked to see if, maybe, there was one for me.

What would you feel if on your birthday everybody shared gifts and you did not get one? I then understood that I was unwanted at that party and quietly left.

Every year it gets worse. People only remember to eat and drink, the gifts, the parties and nobody remembers me. I would like this Christmas that you allow me to enter into your life. I would like that you recognize the fact that almost two thousand years ago I came to this world to give my life for you, on the cross, to save you.
Today, I only want that you believe this with all your heart.

I want to share something with you. As many didn't invite me to their party, I will have my own celebration, a grandiose party that no one has ever imagined, a spectacular party. I'm still making the final arrangements.
Today I am sending out many invitations and there is an invitation for you. I want to know if you wish to attend and I will make a reservation for you and write your name with golden letters in my great guest book. Only those on the guest list will be invited to the party. Those who don't answer the invite, will be left outside.

Be prepared because when all is ready you will be part of my great party.

See you soon.
I Love you!
Jesus

To Bank or Not To Bank

Hubz and I have made an important decision to bank our baby's cord blood through Viacord right after he's born. I have done some research on this topic and though stem cell technology is yet at its infancy, the advent of medical research may speed up its growth in the future. Our main concern at first was the cost, especially for the first year. But we figured this will serve as an insurance (which we hope we'll never use).

Why did we finally decide to bank his cord blood? There have been quite a few transplants using a baby's cord blood at present. Though the diseases being treated are those that are few and far between, who knows what the future might bring. Both our families have histories of cancer. Hubz' dad died of liver cancer, and my grandpa succumbed to prostate cancer. My dad has recently been diagnosed with colon cancer (but thank God it was detected early on). Stroke and heart diseases, not to mention diabetes is also rampant in our families, so does high cholasterol. True, we can avoid these diseases by a lifestyle change. However, some diseases are just genetic by nature. Take me, for instance. Who would've thought I used to have high cholasterol when I was even considered underweight pre-pregnancy?! Blame it on bad genes! My dad has uncontrollable cholasterol level even when he barely eats at all!

I asked my roommate when I was weighing this option and she gave a valid point. Our lives are not within our hands - it is with God's. Miracles do happen everyday (and our baby is a testimony to that). But maybe God is also giving us an option when he opened the doors for stem cell research.

Basically, the decision lies in every family. But as a parent, what wouldn't you give for your child, right?

Baby Shower Part II, False Labor, atbp

My friends from work gave me a "surprise" baby shower on Saturday but the alarm company spoiled it. My roommate gave them the key to the house but they triggered the alarm upon entering. Who did the alarm company call of all people? Well, me... then I told my roommate the alarm went off. She talked to the operator and told her it's ok and she knows about it. That gave it away! So, by the time we came home and my friends had the chance to shout "surprise", I was already laughing.

Thanks L for organizing it though, and to my friends who came and/or gave gifts - thanks a bunch!

Today, I had menstrual-like pain which prompted me to call the hospital. I was told to take it easy, eat something, drink plenty of fluids, take a shower, and call back in an hour if it doesn't go away. After 3 hours, I called back and was asked to come in. I was strapped on the bed and the contractions were monitored. I was surprised to find out I had 6 in an hour. And there I thought I was just feeling the baby move! I was injected with medications to stop the contractions because it's too early for me to deliver (35 weeks). The timing's erratic anyway. That stopped the contractions but not the menstrual-like pain. I was then told to take it easy and to lessen physical activities. Oh, and I'm 1cm dilated by the way!

What's funny is that they also asked me to stop having S_X, which isn't too hard to do since hubz isn't here anyway!

For a couple of days now, I have been waking up very early in the morning just to appease my hungry tummy. Frequent trips to the bathroom isn't helping me sleep either. I have been going every hour now. I guess the baby's truly preparing me for sleepless nights to come.

Baby Shower

Some of my very close friends gave me a baby shower on Saturday, Dec. 3. I have been through so many baby showers in the past where I always give gifts so it was unusual for me to accept them for a change.



To my dear friends, thank you for everything - from the fun, the games, the gifts. I truly had a wonderful time.

The Pains of a Long Distance Marriage

Hubz applied for a tourist visa yesterday, hoping he'd be able to come to the US before I give birth. His petition is underway and we have been receiving a lot of correspondences from NVC (National Visa Center). We thought that that is proof enough that he will definitely come back to wait for the final leg. Wrong! The consul told him that their policy is to deny tourist visa applications when there is a pending petition. They don't even care what the purpose of his visit was. It's a red flag among them to deny applications when immigrant petitions are pending. Hubz told me that a lot of tourist visas were granted yesterday. Unfortunately, he wasn't one of those lucky ones. The consul even checked the status of his petition and advised him to just wait. He wasn't even asked for any other proof that he'd definitely come back.

My heart just went out to him because I know he feels bad about it. Imagine not being there when your child is born! I tried to put a brave face amidst it all because I didn't want him to worry about me and the baby. After we talked, I just cried. I even fell asleep crying!

How can they be so heartless? It doesn't matter to them that I don't have a family nearby to help me out when I give birth. True, I could always come home but hubz and I decided it wouldn't be a good idea. The main reason why we're struggling amidst the pains of temporary separation is so we can give our children a good future. Argh, all the things you sacrifice for your child!

I was out to dinner with my roommate and another friend (celebrating her birthday) when I received the news. My friends noticed the change in my expression. Immediately this other friend offered to be there when I give birth. She asked my roommate to call her as soon as my contractions start and she'll assist me (with my roommate) at the hospital. I also have a few more friends who expressed their intentions to help - whether it be at the hospital or my first few weeks at home. I consider myself blessed to have friends like them.

These past few weeks, I have also been busy attending childbirth classes. I feel bad because I seem to be one of those without their husbands in attendance. In a way, I resented our being apart, especially at this time. But, when I got the news regarding his tourist visa application being denied, I knew I don't have the right to feel bad. At least I'll be with our baby while he can't even hug or kiss him for a while. What could be more painful than that, right? I have a baby to hold while he'd only have pictures to keep him company. He's even worried that when they finally meet, our baby won't even recognize him.

Still, even through all these, I know we still have a lot more to be thankful for. I just pray that this LD business will soon come to an end because it's taxing enough for me and my husband - and our baby will soon be added to that equation!

What I'm Thankful For...

Thanksgiving is upon us again. This gives me the opportunity to reflect on the things and events in my life I'm really grateful for. This year is especially meaningful because God gave us the gift of life. Amidst our infertility issues, the challenges of having a long-distance marriage, and the once-a-year rendezvous, we were given this rare opportunity to journey through parenthood. At Thanksgiving, our precious angel is 33 weeks old. A few more weeks and we'd get a glimpse of the li'l creature I've been nurturing in my womb.

There is a saying that we should always count our blessings. Let me take this chance to list down all the wonderful things and events that happened this year. All those that we're truly grateful for...

• After a couple of years of trying, and after rounds of medications, God finally heard our prayers and gave us our little angel - Caerwyn Mikhail.
• A relatively easy and uncomplicated pregnancy
• A loving and supporting husband. Though he isn't physically present throughout the pregnancy, I can feel his concern and deep love for me and our baby.
• An over-eager and supportive family who longs for this baby as much as we have.
• An understanding boss who gave me lighter loads and allowed me to take off from time to time due to doctor's appointments, childbirth classes, and the like.
• Good health for the whole family. Earlier this year, I wrote about my dad having been diagnosed with Colon Cancer. With the help of early diagnosis, prevention and prayers, he was able to bounce back.
• A roof above our heads, and food for our stomachs.
• Great friends
• Wonderful teammates
• My roommate, best friend, and investment partner
• A truly productive year in terms of projects and career advancement
• Growing investments
• Answered prayers
• The opportunity to be with my husband this year
• The month-long chance to be with my family and my aunt whom I haven't seen for years
• An uneventful October business release
• Two great performance reviews
• Tenants that have been with us for a year now (hopefully renewing again)
• All 32 years of my life on earth
• Safety for me and my family
  

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

The Name Game

Picking a name isn't a simple feat. Hubz and I have been through a number of baby names, debated over them, researched their meanings, searched for possible nicknames to go with it. It took us months before we finally came up with something we think would be perfect for our little angel - CAERWYN MIKHAIL (pronounced as Care-win Mi-kale). We'd call him Kail (pronounced as Kale) for short.

Like any other dads, hubz wanted our baby to carry his first name. I had to say no because his name is so well known to kids as a Big Red Dog. I didn't want our little boy to be teased (worse, bullied) in school because of that name. So we searched for a meaningful name that will carry both our initials. Caerwyn is gaelic which meant "blessed fort". Mikhail is the russian counterpart of Michael which meant "who is like God".

If we could only get our families to pronounce the name well, I think we'd all be happy campers... :) In the meantime, we have yet to search for a girl's name - just in case. Any suggestions?

The Last Stretch

I'm on my last trimester and a few more weeks, I'll be able to see, hold, and hug our baby - I can hardly wait!

I have had a relatively easy pregnancy (thank God!). In fact, I've had much more trouble getting pregnant (due to infertility issues) than staying pregnant! Though I have had some barfing episodes in the past, those were tolerable enough and it happens usually at night after dinner. Besides, they were few and far between that I don't really consider it a bad case of morning sickness. I've seen worse and I can only be thankful mine was very mild.

I had my glucose screening test and though I failed the 1-hour test, I aced the 3-hour one. All 4 blood tests for the 3-hour screening came back normal so the doctor was really surprised I failed the 1-hour test at all. I blame it on a bad fast. I was supposed to fast for 12 hours before going in for the test. By 10pm the previous night, I was still feasting on egg pie, and then I went in for my test at 8am. They drew my blood at exactly 9am (an hour after they gave me a very sweet juice to drink). God is really good because I've been praying so hard to pass my second test, which thankfully, I did. I was more worried of the risks to the baby associated with gestational diabetes than I am with dieting. And then, there are holidays coming up which would definitely make it difficult for me to control eating... :)

Now my only complaint is numbness on my wrist and fingers. My doctor calls it carpal tunnel. A wrist splint helps but it doesn't make the pain go away. She said if I really want to get rid of it, I need to see a specialist who will inject steroids. The sound of it just freaked me out so I told her I'd rather not - for my baby's sake.

The Nursery


Our baby's crib (together with a matching drawer) were delivered on Sunday. Of course, mommy was so excited (and exhausted too). Together with my roommate, we have re-organized our then computer room and turned it into a nursery. Since I still have three more months of gestation to go, there will probably be changes here and there but at least you get the idea.

The little dollhouse at the corner is actually mine. As a kid, I never had beautiful toys like these so when a neighbor sold this slightly used dollhouse because he was moving the entire family to Thailand, I just had to grab it. I've always wanted one for myself so this is my way of satisfying my inner child.

Baby Things Shopping Spree

I went to a knitting specialty store in Downtown Napa on Sunday to buy the required needle size for my knitting class on Oct. 15. For some reason, I couldn't find that size in either Michael's or Joann's so I had to go to a specialty store. Unfortunately, they're closed on Sundays and Mondays. But, guess what's open? Cribs 'N Bibs - it's a baby stuff specialty store. They carry items you would never find in Toys 'R Us or Babies 'R Us.

I gawked at this beautiful crib and matching drawers/changing station made of pure wood - tea stain color. It's convertible to a toddler bed too. What's more, they're on sale for 15% off. The manager told me that those were their last pair. If I don't buy those soon and they get sold, they'd have to special order them for me - which will be at a regular price. I tried to veer away from them but I keep going back so I figured, I'd buy a crib sooner or later anyway so why not make it sooner? In short, I bought the set which will be delivered and assembled on Sunday. So now we're on the race to organize the nursery (which is currently the computer room).

Next, I was looking at the colors I want for strollers when I saw this versatile playpen. It has a bassinet with cover that you can take off (when you want to bring the baby to a picnic). Then there's a changing station on the side with slots for wet wipes and diapers. There's a 10% discount off of that. To make the story short, I ended up buying that piece too. The playpen will stay in the family room so that when I'm downstairs scrapping or watching TV, the baby can stay in the bassinet. My worry was that if I lay him down the couch, he'd fall down when he's big enough to roll over. The playpen would be perfect too because as he gets older, he could stay there and play with his toys.

I emailed hubz about these purchases and he replied back commenting on how lucky this baby is. I must agree. He's got the top of the line gadgets and baby stuff right at his fingertips (of course, that would still depend on whether we'll give in to buying those for him). While I grew up with good old fashioned duyan made of abaca which is prone to tilting, he'd have a beautiful crib fit for a king (at least I thought so). I was even teasing hubz that this crib is the same price as my bed!

My roommate told me not to buy any more stuff because they're planning on giving me a baby shower anyway. I've been to dozens of baby showers in the past and a crib, drawers with changing station, playpen are not the sort of gifts you give to a baby shower, so maybe, they were wise purchases after all, or is it just the shopaholic in me justifying my spending?

Sigh, all the things you'd do for your child.

The Birthday Girl

I celebrated my 32nd birthday on Sept. 10 with very few close neighbors. I opted for a small gathering because I'm already having a hard time cleaning up. I get tired easily and my lower back is causing me a great deal of pain. Thank God for good neighbors because they helped us clean up afterwards.

This year is extra special because God gave me the perfect gift, which I am now carrying inside my tummy. Hubz has teased me that this will be my last birthday alone. Next year, I have a baby tagging along. As you can see, I have gained a bit of weight. I am now up to 111 lbs - a 15 lb. addition to my pre-pregnancy weight of 96 lbs. My doctor isn't bothered at all because I used to be underweight anyway. Then, my waistline is now at 35 inches. One more inch and I'd fit into my husband's pants.





Scrapbook Layouts
































I have been in a creative rut for months now and so, it was a big accomplishment for me to finish 4 layouts in one sitting. For our baby's sake (and for both me and hubz' sakes too), I have decided to create a baby book that will document our thoughts, feelings, photos, and emotions from conception to birth. I hope that my efforts will pay off later when our baby is big enough to appreciate and treasure what I've done. Of course, my no. 1 fan is still, undoubtedly, my husband.


We're having a boy!!!!



I had my ultrasound during my 19th week (Aug. 19th to be exact). I was uncomfortable the whole time because my bladder was full. When I saw my baby waving at us, I couldn't help but be amused. Even insde the womb, he was already showing us that he's got star potential. There really is life inside of me - moving and breathing! This must be how a stage mom feels like. I feel like I'm the mom of the smartest kid in the world! Of course, daddy was equally proud. He'd show this photo to anyone who would care to see.

Hubz knew all along that we're having a boy. Even when people around me thought I'm having a girl (all because I look good), he would tell me it's going to be a boy. Now he is so excited because he's got a playmate. Ahhh, boys!


Call me sentimental

Hubz sent me an email a while back that said "I wanted to do this for you and for our baby. I want to give you both a comfortable life". I have never had anyone tell me that. All my life, I have always been my family's breadwinner. I took the responsibility of sending my brother to school, supporting my family, building them a nice home, helping my grandma remodel hers. Every decision I make, I have to always consider them. It gets tiring sometimes because here I am, exhausting myself from work while my brother and my mom remain unemployed - just waiting for their monthly allowance. I cannot lose my job even for a day because I need the money to support them plus pay for my own bills.

It just felt good hearing those words coming from someone who wants to take care of me for a change. I have taken care of everyone else my whole life, and maybe this is God’s way of rewarding me.


I've been tagged

Tagged by Ela, here's my take:

Seven things that scare me:
- hell
- devil/satan
- heights
- crimes
- ghosts
- reptiles
- losing a loved one

Seven things I like the most:
- feeling my baby move
- reading
- scrapping
- surfing the net
- travelling
- going home to PI (to be with my husband and family)
- shopping

Seven random facts about me:
- I just celebrated my 32nd birthday
- I am now on my 23rd week of gestation
- I love to shop
- Two boys in my life that I love with all my heart - my husband and my unborn son.
- I am my family's breadwinner
- I am the eldest in the family
- My secret wish is to become a SAHM someday... :)

Seven important things in our bedroom:
- Bed
- Hubz photos
- My family's photos
- Comforter
- Alarm Clock
- TV
- Phone

Seven things I plan to do before I die:
- Make sure my family will be well taken cared of
- Secure my child's/children's future
- Go to confession
- Ask forgiveness to those I've offended
- Forgive those who offended me
- Visit the Vatican
- Unite my family

Seven things I can do:
- Cook
- Bake
- Sew
- Scrap
- Dance
- Read
- Decorate/clean the house

Seven things I can’t do:
- watch nonsense TV programs
- sit still for a long period of time
- say no to my family
- be a big spender
- go to the moon
- ride a rollercoaster
- watch horror movies alone

Seven things that attract me to the opposite sex:
- smart
- funny
- kind
- patient
- understanding
- God-fearing
- responsible

Seven things I say the most:
- Oh my God
- Uy
- Thank God
- Geez
- Kamote ka
- My gulay
- Ngee

Seven celeb crushes (whether local or foreign):
- Hugh Jackman
- Aga Muhlach
- Brad Pitt
- Tom Welling
- Mel Gibson
- Denzel Washington
- Chad Michael Murray

Seven people you want to see take this quiz:
- Xtine
- Gem
- Josephine
- Jody
- Hanagirl
- Selina
- Leirs

Credit Card Fraud

I recently fell prey to credit card fraud. A week ago, my bank called me to check if I have been to Mexico because there have been questionable charges to my credit card. What's funny is that those are card present transactions.

First of all, I have NEVER been to Mexico. Second, my teammates can attest that during those dates when the fraudulent transactions occurred, I was at work and my meeting attendance can also prove that. Third, I have NOT lost my card. In fact, I was looking at it while talking to the customer rep from the bank. Fourth, I have NEVER asked for a credit card extension on that account.

Whoever got hold of my credit card number had a field day shopping in Mexico. The transactions amounted up to $600+ in two days! Thank God for vigilant banks like mine. Otherwise, I would never have known until he/she has maximized my credit limit! I was then advised to file a police report, complete and sign an affidavit for fraudulent use of credit/debit card.

It still baffles me to this day how this happened. Friends who have had the same experience told me that someone might have duplicated my card when I went to Manila almost recently. I was told that there are groups who does that for a living, and they target foreign issued credit cards just because those have high credit limits.

I do not really know how my card was duplicated, and I may never find out. Let this be a lesson to everyone to be on guard always. Here are some of the tips I have learned from this experience:

• After travelling from foreign countries (even the Philippines), inform your banks that you have lost the card. That way, if it has been duplicated, nobody will be able to make use of it because the card is cancelled.
• Always check your credit card balance and charges.
• When purchasing items online, make sure it is from reputable cyberstores. During checkout, there should be a lock icon on the website to ensure that it is a secure site.
• Make sure your credit card is never out of your sight. When paying at restaurants, make sure they are reputable enough. If you are unsure or you are a first-timer, pay cash instead.
• Be wary of those old credit card readers where your whole credit card number is captured.
• I have also been advised that some culprits would switch your cards at checkout counters. Make sure your card is returned to you and verify that it is indeed your card and not a dummy or someone else's.
• Be careful about phishing scams which are also rampant these days. I have numerous emails being sent to me to verify my account no., address, phone no., and other pertinent information. I usually delete emails such as these but when it is coming from my bank, I usually go through their website directly. I do not trust the link that is being sent with that email.

Most credit card companies offer zero liability on fraud, but you still have to prove that it wasn't you who made those transactions. In my case, I had to file a police report.

I just hope this doesn't happen to anyone else.

Reflections on Motherhood

I have never understood fully what my mom sacrificed to bring me out into the world until I became pregnant. She had a difficult pregnancy. For the first trimester, she threw out everything she ate, but she kept eating because it was the only way I'd survive. She took care of herself because she wanted me to be healthy. She did everything she was supposed to do, even gave up a thriving career when I was born just so she can take care of me personally. You never really know until you experience all these yourself.

Having a baby is a total lifestyle change. My body has been changing with it too. My heaviest was at 100lbs, and I have had a hard time even attaining that weight. Now I'm up to 103 lbs. My waistline was 26 pre-pregnancy, while it's 32 now - 2 more inches and I'll have the same waistline as hubz.

In Manila, I noticed that I was having a hard time fitting into my pants. I even bought a couple of jeans at size 28. I blamed eating too much as the source of my growing tummy. It was only when I came back that I realized I had a baby growing inside of me. No wonder I'm always hungry, and I eat as if it was my last meal! Hubz would tease me that I have a big tummy - now he takes pride seeing it grow!

I had my very first ultrasound last Friday and it was an amazing experience. I saw our baby's heartbeat. It was like a butterfly fluffing its wings. I also saw the baby move for the first time, as if saying "hey mommy, look what I can do". I couldn't help but cry. The feeling was so overwhelming. I am truly in awe of God's goodness. How can one egg and a sperm create a life? Only through God's infinite power.... Too bad hubz isn't here to share this experience with me.

Sure I feel queasy, but I feel fortunate that I haven't really thrown what I eat out of my system. I used to hate milk because it upsets my stomach but I now drink a couple of glasses a day, plus orange juice with calcium, to make sure I have enough vitamins for our baby's development. I get frequent migraines now but that doesn't bother me. I love being pregnant. Here's this little creature whose very existence depended on me. He trusts me completely - without question.

Now I know that when you're a mom, you'd do anything and everything for your child. In as much as my mom has taken good care of me while I was growing up, I hope to do the same, if not better, for my own child.

Reminiscing the trip home...

Well, I'm definitely back, with a bulging tummy at that! Everything I'm feeling is foreign to me, but I do welcome them if it meant our baby is growing inside of me. Sure, I still miss my husband terribly, though at least I have someone to keep me company.... :)

Before my first appointment with my gynecologist, I checked my charts (I was required to keep track of my basal temperature the moment I wake up in the morning). I just realized that my temperate shot up as high as 100.4 degrees (Fahrenheit) on April 20th. My usual basal temps were only on the 97s. What does this mean? It means that I ovulated the day before or on the 20th itself - while we were in Cebu!

Ok, our trip to Cebu wasn't all that. In fact, among all our other trips, that was our least favorite due to very bad customer service at Shang Mactan. Long story... So, you can just imagine that a trip we'd rather forget brought us the baby we've long hoped for. In short, at least something good came out of it.

Our next stop was Panglao in Bohol. This was one trip we truly enjoyed. We stayed at Panglao Island Nature Resort. There wasn't much water activity to do (truly a honeymooner's paradise), but the resort is just oh-so-romantic. To top it off, Bohol is beautiful. The Boholanons were able to maintain their lush greens and the wonder of the famous Chocolate Hills. We were also treated to a special lunch cruising the Loboc River (we were told this was where the movie "Panaghoy sa Suba" was shot). And those tersiers were just endearing. They're not frightening at all!

Between Cebu and Bohol, we also got to see Avilon Zoo. I must say, I was impressed at how they were able to maintain the place and the animals looked well-fed.

Then there were our constant trips to my grandmother's hometown, Pagsanjan. This was also where my aunt celebrated her birthday. Grandma must've invited the whole town!!!! Funny because they seem to know me all, but I don't remember meeting them - ever!

Our last stop was Tagaytay - where we reminisced when we first became a couple. Yep, it was at Picnic Grove in Tagaytay on Nov. 12, 1994 that I first said "I love you" to my now-husband. We also stopped at a chapel called "W.I.S.H". The inscription said that if you hold Our Lady of Manaoag's hands and make a wish, it will be granted. We did just that - and fervently wished for a baby. Our miracle was granted and we will forever be grateful.

To give you a visual of where we've been, and maybe give you an idea where to go, here are some photos we hope you'd enjoy.

'Til my next trip home (whenever that'll be)....

A very wonderful blessing

I had an appointment with my gynecologist today and she has confirmed what we've known all along - I'm 7 weeks pregnant!!!!! We're just so thrilled!

A week ago, at 5:30 in the morning, and after being delayed for 43 days, we decided to brave it through and take the pregnancy test. Hubz wanted to be a part of the whole ritual so I called him. As I immersed the test stick into the urine cup (sorry if the details are gross), I had my eyes closed the whole time - I was praying and eagerly awaiting the result. When I opened my eyes and the tester said "pregnant" (I had a hi-tech digital pregnancy tester), I gasped for breath. After that, I was just crying - tears of joy. Hubz said he had tears in his eyes too.

We have been praying for our little angel since the year we got married. The thought of having a baby occupied every waking moment of my life. I cry whenever I see, hear, or read baby news from friends. It seemed to be happening to everyone except us. This year, I resolved to take control of my life, and trust God that in His time, He will give us the desires of our heart.

You see, we were happy beyond words because I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). I don't ovulate, and so we have to see a specialist every year (and spend a fortune on workups, medications, treatments) to trigger my ovulation. For two years, I ovulated but there was no baby. We decided to forego treatments this year, except for some medications that we're still taking. We did not see our doctor. We decided to put our complete trust in God. We turned to prayers.

There is truly nothing impossible with God. When I was first diagnosed of PCOS, it was devastating for me. I wasn't like any other women who just thinks of having another baby and poof, she's pregnant. Ours took a while longer, but it was definitely worth the wait.

People would still say it is going to be tough to raise a baby on my own (with hubz still waiting for his visa to be able to join me here), but we have decided to trust the Lord. After all, it was He who granted us our prayers, so He must've known we can handle it.

To our little angel, know that you are loved even before you were conceived. We longed for you even before we knew you. You were our little miracle - truly heaven-sent. You were the greatest blessing that has ever happened to us.

After almost a month-long rendezvous with hubz in Manila, I am now back to reality. I got back to SFO on Saturday night - sad, alone, and jet lagged!

I'm still in the process of organizing my thoughts but I wanted to make my presence known. To all those who remembered our anniversary, thank you! It had been an amazing two years.

I'll be back to blog soon, with photos of our trips to boot.

Because I will be in hiatus for a full month, I am leaving with a hodge podge of things on my blog:

Happy Birthday to the wonderful man I married - someone who loved and accepted me for who and what I am. I can truly say that you're one of the best that has ever happened to me. I am grateful because God has heard my prayers and He gave me more than what I asked for. I love you - always and forever!

Happy second anniversary hubz! Time just flew by, and I couldn't believe that two years have passed since our blissful wedding day. Had I known that being married to you is going to be the best feeling there is, I would've married you earlier... :) And though we're still far apart, know that in my heart, there is only you.... Here's to forever...

Happy birthday dad! I wish you good health, happiness, peace of mind, enlightenment, strength, hope. Though we've had our differences, no one can change the fact that without you, I will not be here today. I love you and I hope that time will heal all wounds and rekindle our relationship. God bless you!

Happy birthday ninang! Through the years, you have helped me and my family through hard times. Without your help, I do not know where we'll be today. For all those times you unselfishly gave and loved unconditionally, thank you. You will always have a special place in my heart. God bless you and your family always. May the happiness and generosity you shared be returned to you a hundredfold.

Happy Mother's Day to my grandmas (Nanay, Lola, and Mama), to my moms (Mommy and Mommy A.), to my Ninang. I pray that when I become a mother myself, I will be half as good, if not equally good, as you've been to your children and husbands. I love you all!

'Til my next post - a month later probably... :)

7 Days to Go...

I have been told that my smile, these days, spans from ear to ear. What better reason is there than the fact that I'm home-bound a week from today? For someone whose husband is away, I look forward to our yearly rendezvous year after year after year.

When I called hubz the other night, he was talking about how stressed he is these past few days. Of course I was worried that they're trying to squeeze in a full month's worth of work in a week's time (like they do to me over here). Fortunately, that wasn't the case. He's stressed because he's trying to find a condo unit for us (which luckily, he found one). Next, he was scouting for reasonable rates for our trip to Panglao for our second anniversary. Then, he was planning our hectic itinerary - leaving just enough time for us to spend time together - just the two of us. Also, he brought his car in for maintenance so it's ready for long trips to wherever.

As for me, it's been busy as usual - even more, I think. I'm trying to finish off all my post-implementation documents then get a head start on October 2005 Release (for which I was told I will be responsible for). But hey, I'm not complaining. In a week's time, I'm outta here... :)

Lastly, I think even nature's cooperating (if you know what I mean... wink, wink!).

This is how I want to remember His Holiness - lively, charming, gentle, loving, caring.

It was hubz who first broke the news to me via a text message confirming that the Pope has passed away. I was sleeping then because I was on graveyard shift the previous night. Being a light sleeper, the mere beep on my cellphone woke me up. When I read the message, I couldn’t help but cry. I haven’t seen him in person but I felt a deep connection with him. After all, he was the only Pope I knew. Everything about the Pope is the one news I crave for these days. Usually, I get tired at seeing the same news over and over again.

Here is this great man who served the Lord up until his very last breath. Here is someone who obeyed God's will until the very end. Here is one Angel that the world was blessed with.

Goodbye Papa. I will miss you terribly.

An Angel Among Us

All over the world, people have been praying for one of the world's most powerful leaders - Pope John Paul II. I am personally saddened by the fact that he is near death as I write this blog. All throughout his papacy, I have heard amazing stories about him. It had been one of my dreams to one day be able to visit the Vatican and get a glimpse of the Pope.

I recall that he went to the Philippines twice - the last one was in the 1994 (or was it 1995?), hubz had chickenpox then. I wanted to be one of those who lined up the streets of Metro Manila to get a glimpse of His Holiness. Friends who went told me how his mere passing brought tears to their eyes. They felt a sense of peace and overwhelming joy. I guess you can call it a taste of Heaven.

It had been written that because of his steadfast faith, he is able to see Christ like Mother Theresa. It is no surprise that he is well-loved, respected, and well-regarded. These photos will prove just how he much he has touched people's lives.

On Good Friday, the church distributed crosses from the Vatican, blessed by His Holiness himself. I kept that in my wallet to remind me of my dream to visit to the Vatican someday. I do pray that the Pope will pass on peacefully and that the new Pope will have the same effect on the world as his predecessor's.

One great man will soon be coming home to his Creator. I know in my heart that the Heavens eagerly await his arrival. He will be welcomed with open arms and all the angels in Heaven will rejoice in his homecoming.

Here's an LO I did during Easter weekend. I actually started working on it last week and turned the house upside down (my computer mostly) looking for the ring choices before I deemed this LO final.

Hope you all had a meaningful lenten season. Mine was quiet, though busy at work. Unlike the Philippines where Maundy Thursday and Good Friday are considered holy days and holidays, it is but a regular working day here in the US. Still, we tried to make it a point to go to church. First, to thank Jesus for the sacrifice He made to save us from sins. Second, to reflect on where I've been and where I'm going. Third, to rejoice now that the Lord has risen. Fourth, to renew my hope in the Risen Christ. With Him, all things are possible.

Vertigo Tour: U2 in Concert

Everytime I hear a U2 song being played on the radio, I feel a deep sense of regret. I have always been a big fan of this band for as long as I can remember. I love their songs, and I so love Bono!!!! He truly knows how to rock!

When I heard that U2 is going to have a concert in San Francisco on April 9th, I felt giddy with excitement! I will finally be able to hear my favorite band play. I asked some friends if they wanted to watch them in concert but I guess I'm the only rocker around here, tee-hee! My roommate L has friends visiting from Australia on that weekend. Neighbor R said it's her SIL's birthday that day so they're going out to celebrate. I'm torn between watching alone, or not seeing them at all!

As soon as their tickets were released to the general public, they sold like hotcakes. People actually camped out to get some. And so, by the time I'm ready to get a couple (will just beg a friend to see it with me, hehehe!), they're gone - as in SOLD OUT!!!!!! You can just imagine how disappointed I was then, especially hearing Bono at the Grammy's when he apologized to the fans who couldn't get any more tickets - thanks Bono, I'm one of them fans!

I searched ebay hoping for some tickets at a reasonable price, but I couldn't find any in SFO anymore. They have tickets selling in Chicago, LA, and some other states, but not around here. What's outrageous is the prices they're selling it for. Would you believe they're going for $500 a piece, and people are actually buying them?! What irritated me is the fact that there people like me who would like to get tickets because I'd like to actually see the show, but can't get anymore, while there are vultures out there would hoard tons of tickets to auction off to the highest bidder. They're making an easy profit out of someone else's suffering!!!!

Oh well, just venting out I guess. I'm hoping this isn't their last tour because I swear, even if I have to camp out the next time, I will... just so I can see them in concert!

Hmmm, it's St. Patrick's day today, and what do you know, I'm blogging about an Irish band. Is it coincidence or what?! Happy St. Patty's Day anyway!

What My Husband Misses About Me

In exactly a month and 13 hours from the time this blog gets posted, I am leaving for Manila. I can hardly wait!

I asked hubz a while back what he misses about me and here's his response:

* Holding hands while walking. There's no greater feeling than having someone walk with you side by side, holding your hand as if they're afraid of losing you.

* The cook in me. He said he misses having tapsilog, longsilog, baconsilog, or tocilog for breakfast, complete with coffee and a table made up for two... :)

* Snuggling in front of the TV or just plain cuddling. When we were just starting out, he told me he loved me because I'm so "malambing". In fact, when we'd get into an argument (because of my own doing), I won't necessarily say "I'm sorry", but I'll snuggle with him. He said no matter how angry he'd be, I have the ability to soften his heart when I do that.

* Talking face to face. Though we talk on the phone every single day, nothing compares to the magic of being able to talk to each other in person.

* Flirting with each other. He would kiss me at random, fiddle with my hair, hug me tight. It's simple ways of showing off our love for each other.

* Plain ol' foolishness. We'd tease each other endlessly and we'd laugh so hard in the end.

* Dining out. My husband is a penny-pincher. He would seldom eat out, especially not on his own. Ask him about good restaurants and he'll ask someone else. He once told me he loves it when I come home because he gets to try different restaurants.

* Dates. Be it a date to the movies, or a date with friends, he enjoys it immensely just because he's with me.

* Going to church together. There was a time when we got into an argument because he doesn't go to church all that often. He told me he misses me whenever he does that. Now he's back to going to church regularly. In part, I owe it to the fact that he lost his ring and because of dire prayers, he found it. He told me he is so grateful that he was spared of a big expense - I was demanding a diamond wedding band, should he lose his'.

* Making plans. It is when I get home that we get to plan and dream of our future. You know, serious stuff.

Of course there are other reasons but if I am to keep this blog wholesome, I'd have to stop here. I think you know what I mean (wink, wink).... :)

One good thing about being in an LD marriage is that we always feel like newlyweds everytime we're together. Everyday is a honeymoon. We try not to argue because we'll spoil the short time we spend together.

Ahh, a month to go and still counting... :)

An LD Husband's Request

Part of my frustrations as an LD wife and a good cook (testimony based on my victims' willing participation on my recipe experiments, hehehe!) is not being able to cook for my dear husband. On occasion, I would cook gazillions of food to feed an army, but I couldn't get the chance to sample it on my husband's very choosy palate. Whenever I'd come home, our activities would prevent us from eating in, not to mention that the condo units we end up renting has miniature furnitures that it's tough to fix something to eat.

You see, I am very particular about the kitchen. I want it fully functional and big, with lots of cabinets to store the precious cooking gadgets I've accumulated over the years. This is all because I experiment a lot. I look for new menus to whip up. I especially like baking and so an oven is a must. Most of the time, I'm successful with my so-called cooking experiments.

And so, a few days ago, I was talking to hubz and he told me he missed my garlic fried rice, eggs, and longganisa or tocino or tapa or bacon in the morning. He was asking me if I could cook them for him when I come home. I'm thinking, "ok, I can definitely do that!" My husband's taste is very simple - he's a carnivore who loves sinigang. You can probably serve him that everyday and he wouldn't mind! Next, I told him about baking and decorating a chocolate cake for a friend's baby shower yesterday, and he asked if I could bake him cakes too. I told him I'd be happy to do it except he'd have to hook me up with an oven, hehehe! He requested sans rival and so I'm in now in the lookout for a good recipe to experiment with. Friends and good-hearted neighbors, look out, hahaha!

Note that I used to bake a lot - back when my roommate has no clue she had diabetes. When she was diagnosed, she toned down on sweets. So, if I do find the time to bake, I'd either give most of it away (to happy recipients?) or eat them all on my own (bad idea!). That said, it had been a while since I practiced my baking. But hey, I've got a month and a half to hone my skills.... :)

Don't worry hubz, I have it on my list to fatten you up with good food courtesy of moi! After all, you don't get dubbed the domesticated goddess for nothing - with the kitchen as my kingdom, and the ladle as my scepter, what can possibly go wrong?

Happy birthday Jane! Lots of hugs your way today!

The Never-Ending Saga that started with a Fender Bender

In late 2003, we had a little fender bender in San Francisco, going towards the Bay Bridge. This filipino guy hit us because he was on the phone. Our story began...

Since it was my roommate's car, the guy gave her his contact information sans his address, his insurance policy no. and the name of the insurance company. My roommate immediately contacted the insurance company and this lady that she first talked to was very helpful. She made sure they paid for her car repairs without question. L also informed her about back pains and she advised us to see a chiropractor. When we told her we had an initial consultation with one, she told us this doctor that we went to is know to charge exorbitant fees, but to go ahead and send her our bills later. All's well (or so we thought).

After our treatments, we were given the final bill and though we were shocked of the bottomline, we submitted our claims to the insurance company. The new adjustor called us to ask for an appointment for routinary questions. When we called him for the appointment, he told us that there wasn't any need. Then, we got a notice in the mail that our claim was denied - no further explanations!!!

Our nightmare began - we started the phone brigade with the insurance guy but he wouldn't return our calls. When he finally did, after several attempts, he was very rude and even had the nerve to say he's "protecting his client, and that we might be taking advantage of the situation". Well, helloooo - if we are, we should've hired a lawyer in the first place and not have done it ourselves. Besides, we gave them a copy of the final bill, no more, no less. If we were taking advantage, we should've asked for more money that that!

We have no choice but to file a small claims case. First, it was against the insurance company but the judge told us we can't sue a corporation. We need to sue the guy so he'd go after his insurance company. Fine, we were re-scheduled. Since my roommate wasn't given an address, we decided to do our own investigative search. We came up with several addresses - a few in Sacramento and some more in San Francisco. The phone no. that the guy gave my roommate had Sacramento's area code, we decided to go there first. We went to the sheriff's office so they can serve him the summons. We were told they needed a month to do that. With only days to go before the next hearing date, we were running out of time.

Today was our hearing so we showed up at the court and told the judge what happened. Luckily, my roommate called the San Francisco phone no. prior to our schedule today and she was told that he wasn't home, which meant that he lives in SFO (and not Sacramento). We asked the judge if we should continue to pursue the case in Napa when he lives in SFO and the accident happened there. The case was dismissed and true enough, we needed to file in SFO.

As soon as we were out of Napa Superior Court, it was a mad dashed to the city to file a small claims case and have them serve him a certified mail.

A simple accident that could've been settled out of court turned into a nightmare and a continuing saga. I still think insurance companies are high-profile crooks. You get asked to pay your insurance premiums, you pay it religiously to the point of sacrificing a few luxuries, and then they screw you just when you need them to pay up! I'm sure the poor guy who caused the accident saw an increase in his insurance premiums because he is now considered a "road hazard", while here we are, scratching our heads and are close to begging them to pay for a $4K chiropractor bill!

Lesson to everyone - if you ever end up in an auto accident, ask for the complete contact information (including address) and take photos. Cellphones now come with cameras which could prove useful should you end up in this situation. Then if you can, file a police report. This way, the "crooks" cannot deny your claim because you have it documented.

What a bitter lesson to learn! I sure hope it doesn't happen to anyone else.